IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Air travel has become cheaper than before. Some think it is a positive development. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#air #travel #think #development
Travelling has always been
one
 of the prime concerns for
people
 since time immemorial. Nowadays, we have more transport facilities
such
 as trains, roads, water and so on. Some
people
are arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 air ticket
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 getting lower is a positive
development
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
were around
Verb problem
argue
show examples
. In my opinion, it is not a sign of
development
. There are enormous causative factors in my opinion. On the
one
 hand, some believe getting cheaper tickets indicates positive developments. Airlines are more available than past and we can access the
world
 through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flight service. It is a
development
 of a
nation
 because an individual can travel through the
world
 to find his or her job. It helps tourism of a
nation
. A country can invite more tourists
while
 they get cheaper airways. Tourism is an inevitable aspect of a
nation
.
For example
, countries like India, are welcoming the
world
 to explore the culture and beauty of the
nation
. I think, that if more providers conduct scheduled flights to
one
 destination it will reduce the charges. More citizens can explore the
world
 and find more business opportunities.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe it is not good for
development
. They think the finomina causes brain drain. If
people
 are able to travel to other nations, the youngsters will go to other nations. It reduces our productivity and manpower.
For instance
, in India, youngsters are moving abroad for their studies and work resulting loss of skilled and talented human resources. Air charge always depends on
season
Correct article usage
the season
show examples
. Only it can develop a
people
. In my view,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of cheaper travel methods developed the
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
. Because the family travelled around the earth and
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
 new business ideas.
For example
, China, developed
while
 they opened their country to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 became
one
 of the largest manufacturers in the
world
.
To conclude
, evolution not only depends on the Air price but
Also
 on other facilities
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
However
, it can play a key role in
increase
Add an article
the increase
show examples
.
Submitted by shahinka.687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: