some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films shound not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #level #violence #films #television #cinema #shound

People

have held conflicting views about whether the government should restrict the

intensity

of action

movies

or let creators of these

movies

continue to publish them. I believe that the authorities may ignore the

intensity

of violent

movies

and

this

essay serves to prove my notion On the one hand, many

people

want to limit the level of violent factors in

films

for some reasons.

Firstly

this

content may increase in criminal rate, as adults watch violent

movies

frequently,

their

Correct word choice

and their

show examples

mental may be affected by harsh activities in

films

. Specifically, these

people

can be convinced that using a gun or knife to kill others is legal and normal,

then

they imitate these activities leading to more crimes.

Moreover

, these

films

have a negative effect on not only adults but

also

the young, especially children whose cognitive is not developed enough. Similar to adults the children may copy these activities and make their classmates hurt so several regretful accidents can happen.

On the other hand

, several

people

still support the development of action

movies

with a high

intensity

. First of all, violence is the key to

this

genre of

films

so if these factors are removed they can not attract any viewers.

Consequently

, there is not enough profit to develop the film industry so

this

major can be collapsed.

Furthermore

people

who are obsessed with violence should opt for watching comedy or romance genres

instead

of horror or blockbuster

movies

hence

they can avoid their obsession, and bad influence and continue to satisfy their watching

movies

passion. In conclusion, some

people

argue that authorities may restrict the

intensity

of action

movies

for harmful effects on society and children.

However

, I am convinced that harsh elements play an important role in the quality of intense

movies

and there are several solutions to address the risk of violent

films

so it is not crucial to regulate them.

Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on Sun Oct 22 2023

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task response

Develop your ideas with more specific examples and evidence.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks consistency in presenting and organizing ideas. Work on connecting sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films shound not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some culture, children are being told that they can achieve anything if they work hard.What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

People in your area are having problems with their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. In your letter: - describe the problems - explain how they are affecting people - say what the company should do to help

Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicle during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?