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some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films shound not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #level #violence #films #television #cinema #shound
People
 have held conflicting views about whether the government should restrict the
intensity
 of action
movies
 or let creators of these
movies
 continue to publish them. I believe that the authorities may ignore the
intensity
 of violent
movies
 and
this
 essay serves to prove my notion On the one hand, many
people
 want to limit the level of violent factors in
films
 for some reasons.
Firstly
,
this
 content may increase in criminal rate, as adults watch violent
movies
 frequently,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
 mental may be affected by harsh activities in
films
. Specifically, these
people
 can be convinced that using a gun or knife to kill others is legal and normal,
then
 they imitate these activities leading to more crimes.
Moreover
, these
films
 have a negative effect on not only adults but
also
 the young, especially children whose cognitive is not developed enough. Similar to adults the children may copy these activities and make their classmates hurt so several regretful accidents can happen.
On the other hand
, several
people
 still support the development of action
movies
 with a high
intensity
. First of all, violence is the key to
this
 genre of
films
 so if these factors are removed they can not attract any viewers.
Consequently
, there is not enough profit to develop the film industry so
this
 major can be collapsed.
Furthermore
,
people
 who are obsessed with violence should opt for watching comedy or romance genres
instead
 of horror or blockbuster
movies
,
hence
 they can avoid their obsession, and bad influence and continue to satisfy their watching
movies
 passion. In conclusion, some
people
 argue that authorities may restrict the
intensity
 of action
movies
 for harmful effects on society and children.
However
, I am convinced that harsh elements play an important role in the quality of intense
movies
 and there are several solutions to address the risk of violent
films
 so it is not crucial to regulate them.
Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on

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task response
Develop your ideas with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks consistency in presenting and organizing ideas. Work on connecting sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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