Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
Health
Use synonyms
service
, which is assumed as the most indispensable part of society, is said to be expensive for customary people. In Use synonyms
this
essay, why the advantages of private Linking Words
health
care are superior will be addressed.
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Firstly
, better Linking Words
service
at hospitals and some clinics is considered Use synonyms
as
the most effective path to reduce patient anxiety. To illustrate, the more Change preposition
apply
health
Use synonyms
services
, support nurses and medical staff financially, the better performance they will have because they are motivated to work better and faster. Use synonyms
For instance
, if individuals pay more money for treatment, they will get better Linking Words
services
which leads to Use synonyms
patients
who have tranquillity and the way of their remediation will improve. Use synonyms
As a result
, not only private Linking Words
health
care is superior rather than public Use synonyms
service
but Use synonyms
also
assists the patient in being confident about the Linking Words
services
that are provided in hospitals and clinics.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, technology is accounted as an inseparable part of medical treatments. To clarify, nowadays professionals are getting used to finding unique ways to treat maladies and utilize novel facilities to recognize diseases faster without any defects but these technologies require a huge budget private Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
services
can provide these sources of budget Use synonyms
while
public Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
service
unable to support them. If these technologies are implemented in the Fix the agreement mistake
services
health
system lead to treating Use synonyms
patients
easily and dwindling myriad of people who will die because of maladies. Use synonyms
Thus
costly Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
services
assist in treating Use synonyms
patients
better.
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To conclude
, thanks to providing better Linking Words
services
and new technology to remediate Use synonyms
patients
, private Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
services
by allocating lots of money have more merits in comparison to public Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
services
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The introduction clearly defines the topic and states the intention of the essay. This is well-done. However, it could be improved by being more concise and directly outlining the main points to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures and avoiding repetition to make ideas clearer and more comprehensive. For example, 'better service at hospitals and some clinics' could be more precise. Also, avoid using 'rather than' incorrectly; 'as well as' might be better in some contexts.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from the inclusion of more specific examples to illustrate the points made. Examples help to ground arguments in real-world scenarios and make them more convincing.
task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the prompt and covers both advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and restates the importance of private health services.
task achievement
The essay uses clear and relevant ideas to support the main argument, particularly in discussing how better services and technology can lead to improved patient outcomes.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...