IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
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It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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cars
Use synonyms
 which
runs
Change the verb form
run
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 on
fuel
Use synonyms
 should be banned and
people
Use synonyms
 should start using electric
cars
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I would argue
cars
Use synonyms
 using
fuel
Use synonyms
 should not be abandoned as they are
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
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 and
ensures
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensure
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 safety.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we can save a lot of money. If we choose to
use
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 which are petrol, diesel,
natural
Correct word choice
or natural
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 gas driven, it can save us a lot of money.
As electricity
Correct word choice
Electricity
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 is quite expensive in some
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries
such
Linking Words
 as Bangladesh India and Pakistan.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 good for
Add an article
the
a
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national economy as natural resources
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 the
countries
Change noun form
country's
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 economic growth. So if
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
fuel driven
Add a hyphen
fuel-driven
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cars
Use synonyms
 it will give
boost
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a boost
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 to their
county’s
Correct your spelling
country’s
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 economy as more and more
people
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 will
use
Use synonyms
fuel
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.
In addition
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, it can save
huge
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a huge
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 amount of time as
cars
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 which
runs
Change the verb form
run
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 on electricity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 slow and
time consuming
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time-consuming
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.
For instance
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, Developing
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
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 like Bangladesh, India,
Pakistan
Correct word choice
and Pakistan
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 can never think of electric
cars
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 as it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
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 around
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
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 dollars to charge a
car
Use synonyms
 battery overnight.
Secondly
Linking Words
, electric
cars
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 are
accident prone
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accident-prone
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.Driverless
cars
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runs
Change the verb form
run
show examples
 on sensors and often they fail to avoid obstacles.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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people
Use synonyms
 might get seriously injured.
Although
Linking Words
 it sounds quite exquisite to
use
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 a driverless
car
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but
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apply
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it often
create
Change the verb form
creates
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 problems for senior citizens as they don’t know how to operate it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, electric
cars
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 can’t be run
on
Change preposition
in
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 countries like Bangladesh, India, etc as
people
Use synonyms
 hardly abide by the traffic rules.Electric
cars
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 can often have a collision with
people
Use synonyms
 walking and running here and there. As
people
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 lack knowledge of these
cars
Use synonyms
 they might walk past
by
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apply
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these
cars
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 thinking the driver will stop the
car
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, but if the sensor fails to detect
Correct article usage
the obstacle
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obstacle
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
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 ahead, an accident is
sure
Add an article
the sure
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 shot case here.
For example
Linking Words
, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, one Tesla
car
Use synonyms
 failed to detect obstacles ahead and created massive destruction. So, I would argue on the ground that,
people
Use synonyms
 should
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
fuel based
Add a hyphen
fuel-based
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cars
Use synonyms
 in spite of, electric ones as it is more
cost effective
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cost-effective
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 and saves
people
Use synonyms
 from
hazardous
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a hazardous
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. Viết cho Husainul Islam Abir
Submitted by lantran180487 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
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