Task 2: In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss both views
In recent years, a growing number of individuals have the opinion that
teenagers
are given independence too much. There is still heated debate about whether children
have too much freedom
. Personally, I am convinced that youngster
in Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
this
generation have more freedom
than before.
It is undeniable that teenagers
in modern
generation Correct article usage
the modern
have
more self-determined. In Verb problem
are
4.0
era, Correct article usage
the 4.0
the
number of Correct article usage
a
parents
had access to innovated
education Replace the word
innovative
due to
they had a new awareness to bring up their children
. Parents
in new age allow their children
to make their own decesions
Correct your spelling
decisions
such
as their major, their personal preference and clothes what they wear. Many families
no longer interfere too much in their children
’s relationships, they give for their son or their daughter the private life. For instance
, more and more traditional families
in Asia become psychological with their children
, they no longer control children
’s decisions, they
allow Correct word choice
and they
for
their child make Change preposition
apply
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
what
the youngsters want to be. Change preposition
about what
However
, this
freedom
should be in moderation because this
can lead to the consequences that children
are prone to misdirection, failing into social evils.
On the other hand
, in the past society has many families
hold
antiquated ideas and until now only a few Wrong verb form
held
parents
hold
that opinion. Overprotective Wrong verb form
held
parents
fear that their children
will be danger
from the society out there. The Change preposition
in danger
teenagers
can be
meet a scammer, school Unnecessary verb
apply
bullyng
or even social evils. Correct your spelling
bullying
That is
the reason why their parents
have to control their external relationships and the parents
do not give their children
much privacy. A prime example of this
would be some families
live
in the North of Vietnam set a curfew for their Wrong verb form
living
children
, the youngster
have to come back home before 10pm.
In conclusion, the fact that Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
children
in this
generation have too much freedom
still
a debated issue. All things considered, it is my strong belief that Add a missing verb
is still
the
Correct article usage
apply
teenagers
in recent times have more freedom
compared to the past.Submitted by phthaoo
on
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task response
The essay lacks a clear position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of young adults living with their parents. It is important to clearly discuss both the advantages and disadvantages and provide a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay needs a more organized structure to improve coherence and cohesion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are linked logically throughout the essay.