The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The diagram illustrates the salmon’s life cycle in 3 different areas, including with

river

Use synonyms

, estuary and ocean. It can be seen that there are many stages of the differentiation of

salmons

Use synonyms

from eggs to mature adults.

Moreover

Linking Words

, we can

also

Linking Words

see that

salmons

Use synonyms

spend most of their time of their lives in a

river

Use synonyms

and

ocean

Fix the agreement mistake

oceans

show examples

. It will pass an estuary only once in their lifetime.

To begin

Linking Words

with, their incubation and transformation period, after mature

salmons

Use synonyms

lay eggs which are transformed into small young

salmons

Use synonyms

in a

river

Use synonyms

. The young

salmons

Use synonyms

stay in the freshwater for a

while

Linking Words

to grow up completely.

Then

Linking Words

, the fish swim through an estuary one time in the adolescent stage to an ocean where it can migrate to many places.

However

Linking Words

, in the mature stage,

salmons

Use synonyms

will swim back upstream to the spawning area and lay eggs in a

river

Use synonyms

Then

Linking Words

, the life cycle reoccurs.

pramai177Sun Oct 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words river, salmons with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

151 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Life cycle
Salmon
Spawn
Egg
Alevin
Fry
Parr
Smolt
Freshwater
Saltwater
Adaptation
Physiological changes
Habitat
Predators
Survival
Ecosystem
Migratory patterns
Reproductive cycle
Environmental factors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computures and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.
Compared to the past, children nowadays spend more of their free time indoors with technology than outdoors. This essay will discuss the problems caused by the lack of outdoor activities and suggest a few potential solutions.
5
band
Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside, while others argue that living in cities is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Upbringing of a child is very sensitive issue now a days. Parents should take into account a lot of factors while choosing the place for upbringing of a child. Although ,many people argue that village is suitable place for that but I absolutely disagree with this. .In the following paragraphs I will discuss the point of view of both types of people and will try to describe how it is eventually important to prefer cities over countryside.
7
band
Some people think that employers should ensure a pleasant working environment so that workers feel valued and will therefore work hard. Others feel that employers should be stricter with employees and monitor them closely to ensure they work hard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The debate over how employers should manage their workforce revolves around two contrasting approaches: creating a pleasant working environment versus strict monitoring and control. Both strategies have their proponents and distinct advantages.
5
band
Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays video game industry is a huge trend, and society claim that games has negative effect on children. I strongly diasgree with this statement, first of all, because most of computer games have a lot of positive ascpets, and can be used to teach children using gamefication factor.
5.5
band
It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?
It has become frequent among individuals to continue working for longer years in many parts of the world without the restriction of retirement age. While some people support this development, I tend to disagree with this because of increasing youth unemployment ratio and the inefficient output by elderly people aging beyond 60.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.

As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computures and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside, while others argue that living in cities is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?