IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries young people are encourage to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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In
this
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 present world, the encouragement of youngsters to
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 or
travelling
Wrong verb form
travel
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 abroad for almost one
year
Use synonyms
 is a common fact,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 in the period of time between high
school
Use synonyms
 graduation and starting university paths. I personally believe
this
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 is a matter where
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 could outweigh the disadvantages in many ways. It is widely known that travelling for a
year
Use synonyms
 after
school
Use synonyms
 could benefit
people
Use synonyms
. An experience abroad gives
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
 the
change
Correct your spelling
chance
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 to boost their experiences in many
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
: enhance language skills, learn new cultures,
improve
Correct word choice
and improve
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 social connections. Generally, they are willing to experience a study trip in order to gain more
prospectives
Replace the word
prospects
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 for their future,
for example
Linking Words
 during a job interview these
inhabits
Replace the word
inhabitants
show examples
 could
grap
Correct your spelling
grab
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention and seem more reliable and professional if they had studied abroad for one
yer
Correct your spelling
year
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, a massive number of students are going to
experiment
Verb problem
experience
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life in a college or in a host family, so that it leads to a full immersion in that culture and environment and gives
also
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 the choice to make new
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
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.
Likewise
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, working for a
year
Use synonyms
 before deciding to start university studies, could clear their head on what they prefer to do.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are several cases where
people
Use synonyms
 find their own ways or passions without the necessity to attend university.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a counterargument that if
people
Use synonyms
 decide to go abroad or work after high
school
Use synonyms
, they will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 a
year
Use synonyms
 of their life.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 nowadays there is a high expectation
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 and putting your life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 stand-by could be seen as a negative point in society.
An other
Correct your spelling
Another
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 disadvantage could be that living abroad, even for a short time, gets away from your relatives and your friends.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I reiterate my statement by saying that there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a myriad of benefits
Change preposition
to
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on
Change preposition
to
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 taking a short break after finishing
school
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
 youngsters should chaise their ambitions and desires, and adventures like these should strengthen their motivation and stand them in
Correct article usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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good stead.
Submitted by martycodro on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
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