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Band 4

7.Some people believe that it is the responsibility of politicians, rather than individuals, to reduce the world’s environmental damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #responsibility #politicians #individuals #world’s #damage
Nowadays, global warming is increasing
immensly
Correct your spelling
immensely
due to
 the
pollution
 we do, so some
people
 comment on
this
 that, it is the responsibility of the politicians, rather than individuals. If questioned, I would strongly disagree with the statement above, detailed explanation is provided in the following write-ups.
Firstly
,
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 of many types like land
pollution
,water
pollution
,
others
Correct word choice
and others
show examples
, but all these kinds of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 deteriorate
earth's
Correct article usage
the earth's
show examples
 health which includes
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
,
nature
 and other things.
These pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
This pollution
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 caused by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans, we can reduce these things, for that
people
 have to be together and understand the necessity to control
pollution
. Adding more, we can say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
 is the cancer of
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
, it will kill
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
 slowly, so to reduce
this
 damage we
people
 should understand and we need to be more cautious, the rules made by the
government
 should be followed strictly. There should be public
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 programs to let
people
 know the importance of
nature
, and how
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
we
conserve
Correct pronoun usage
conserve it
show examples
.
However
, some
people
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 cleanliness is something
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should take care of and not
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals, as that person might think that
this
 is
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 job.
People
 throw rubbish here and there
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and say that the
government
 will work on
this
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
. Some
people
 just
complains
Change the verb form
complain
show examples
, but no sort of help is provided by that person.
Concluding
Replace the word
In conclusion
show examples
, each and every person should contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the cleanliness
programes
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
, and should help to preserve our
nature
, as
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 cannot do anything without
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
 support of the
people
.
Instead
 of only blaming others we should do something for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 environment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
 is preserved, our future generations
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 live life healthier.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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