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Writing Samples
Band 5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
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bying
Correct your spelling
buying
 various products from around the world has been one of the desires of every human being.
Passing
Correct article usage
The passing
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 of time, and
making
Verb problem
apply
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numerous advances in technology have given
people
Use synonyms
 the possibility of having the same products
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 other
people
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 in other locations.
This
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 issue is making
countries
Use synonyms
 the same day by day. From my point of view,
this
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 phenomenon is
completelt
Correct your spelling
completely
 a positive development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the similarity of
countries
Use synonyms
 because of the ability of
people
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 to buy the same goods and products is a positive development. Psychologically speaking,
people
Use synonyms
 may feel relaxed and
relief
Replace the word
relieved
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 in
this
Linking Words
 way.
In other words
Linking Words
, having a sense of equity with other
people
Use synonyms
 across the globe can really lift the spirit of mankind. To illustrate the point, consider a person who is living in a developing
country
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.
This
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 person will see other peers in a developed
country
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 who are leading their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 with high standards.
This
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 condition can make him/her depressed because they may make
comparison
Fix the agreement mistake
comparisons
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 between themselves and the peer groups in a developed
country
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. If they have the possibility of buying ,
for example
Linking Words
, the same shoes
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 other
people
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 living in a better
country
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, they will feel way better about his/her situation. Another reason why the similarity of
countries
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 because of
people
Use synonyms
 having the ability to buy the same items is that the necessity of immigration to other
countries
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 will decrease dramatically. To
wxplain
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explain
 more, many immigrants decide to immigrate to
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better countries
a better country
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countries
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 because the economic, social, and political situations of their own
country
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 leave them with no alternative but to immigrate. In fact, in high probability, If these
people
Use synonyms
 had a good standard of living, they might not decide to go to a better spot in the pursuit of
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life. So, If
countries
Use synonyms
 become similar to each other, many
people
Use synonyms
 will not immigrate to other places, which exerts a great deal of pressure on them. In conclusion, I tend to think that the similarity of
countries
Use synonyms
 these days which can be attributed to the modern world is a positive issue because the mental conditions of
people
Use synonyms
 in less developed
countries
Use synonyms
 may improve and the rate of immigration may decrease.
Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
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