The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In recent years, science has played a pivotal role in addressing global health challenges;
however
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, some individuals argue that the primary objective of scientific advancement should be to enhance the quality of public health. I strongly concur with the notion that science is one of the main responses contributing to the healthy lives we enjoy today.
This
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essay will examine the significance of these
advancements
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for society and the environment. One of the primary justifications for advocating the enhancement of individual well-being is its potential to positively influence the lives of future generations. Research studies demonstrate that the establishment of a well-structured healthcare system contributes significantly to the global reduction of disease prevalence.
Furthermore
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, the National Lab Institute has revealed that numerous viruses have been eradicated
due to
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contemporary scientific
advancements
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.
For instance
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, one hundred years ago, Saudi Arabia faced considerable challenges related to public health mortality;
however
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, substantial funding has been raised, resulting in increased life expectancy for individuals.
Consequently
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, the greater the investment in research studies, the healthier the community is likely to become.
Furthermore
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, the rapid population growth and infrastructural development in developed countries have had a detrimental impact on the environment. Expert analyses indicate that the uncontrolled expansion in these nations has led to alterations in weather patterns.
For instance
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, scientists have predicted climate changes induced by the Industrial Revolution.
Consequently
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, sea levels continue to rise, posing a significant threat of flooding to numerous island nations.
In addition
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, global institutions are exploring solutions to
minimize
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minimise
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greenhouse gas emissions and are proposing a transition to renewable energy sources.
Moreover
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, the United Nations supports funding for countries that are adopting
this
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transition.
Thus
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, the more scientific
advancements
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engage
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are engaged
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in environmental policies, the greater the protection we can ensure for our planet. In conclusion,
while
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I acknowledge the benefits of scientific
advancements
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in areas
such
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as healthcare and environmental protection, I firmly contend that the primary objective of science should be to enhance the quality of life for individuals.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first paragraph. Say very directly that science should first improve people's lives.
task response
Stay closer to the question. You wrote a lot about health and the environment, but you did not fully explain why these show the main aim of science.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and easy to trust. Some parts, like the lab example, feel too general.
task response
Link the second body paragraph more clearly to your main opinion. Show how helping the environment also improves people's lives.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas move too fast. Add a short topic sentence and one clear ending sentence in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer long phrases. Shorter sentences can make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are good, but do not use too many. Make sure each one adds a clear step in the idea.
task response
You gave a clear opinion and kept it to the end.
task response
You answered the topic and wrote about important areas like health and the environment.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used linking words like 'furthermore', 'for instance', and 'consequently' to join ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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