There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a significant amount of pressure building up among young people to attain success on academic
subjects
and the intense competition among each other is
one
of a cause for it. In
this
manner, some people believe that dropping out non academic
subjects
will pave the way to achieve greater results in academic
subjects
which is subjective. I strongly believe non-academic
subjects
should be included in the curriculum and there should be a balanced approach needs to be considered.
Firstly
, physical education is an important field to study since it teaches how to be fit through exercises and includes nutritious foods in the diet. If
one
person only gains prosperity in studies and deteriorates in health conditions, it will negatively impact his or her life.
According to
the learning Buddhism, having good health condition is the highest priority for a human, and when someone fails to maintain good health it will impact other criteria of their life. When pupils get an education on sports and other non-curriculum activities it will lead to fit their body and better mental conditions without stress and anxiety.
Secondly
, Cooking is
one
of the fields that practices patience for young people and the expertise in culinary is a unique skill.
Due to
the uniqueness, there is a shortage of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
for those jobs and higher salaries for chefs in developing countries. As an example, a Chef in Canada earns $35-$40 per hour. So If someone looking to develop their career in cookery, it is
one
of a field that generates benefits in terms of monetary and non-monetary. In conclusion, physical education and cookery should not be eliminated from the school curriculum and it is important to illustrate the benefits to the students of attending the courses in those areas and provide necessary training and development. Q
Submitted by hashanf87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: