Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
These days ,
majority
of the nations worldwide emphasize improving economic Correct article usage
the majority
development
to enhance the standards of living for their citizens, but in doing so numerous social values
are lost as a result
. In my opinion, I think the benefits brought by economic development
do not hold water against the damage caused to its societal values
and affect
on the environment.
Admittedly, there are some benefits Correct your spelling
effect
by
stimulating economic Change preposition
to
development
USE SYNONYMS
advancementevolutionexpansionimprovementincreaseprogress
It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
. First and foremost, due to
the rising economic opportunities through numerous industrial developments, people
have higher purchasing parity leading to increased affordability and satisfaction levels. For instance
, in
the UAE, owing to the petroleum industrial growth in recent years, has resulted in a better lifestyle for its citizens. Change preposition
apply
Additionally
, in this
era of globalization, competition has promoted numerous companies to compete against foreign companies. This
, in turn, increased the options as well as
the affordability of gadgets, personal
beauty and wellness products for their Correct word choice
and personal
people
.
Nevertheless
, despite the advantages mentioned above, individuals have lost social values
on the way to materialistic possession
. Fix the agreement mistake
possessions
People
are spending more than ever on unnecessary and unsuitable products against their cultural values
. In India, for example
, over thirty percent
of family finances are in a dire state and have strained family bondings Change the spelling
per cent
due to
comparison with relatives. Another obvious issue is that, while
economic developments are flourishing, countries and individuals have lost track of sustainability. Consequently
, global warming is caused by people
through excessive fossil-fuel combustion to satisfy their lifestyles such
as cars, which in the long run, is the reason for rising natural calamities and fluctuating weather patterns.
In conclusion, the repercussions of lost social values
like family bonding and damage to nature far outweigh any gains of the improved style of living obtained through economic development
.Submitted by harshdpatel3443 on
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task response
Ensure that you directly address the prompt and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay. Also, ensure that all points are relevant to the topic and are supported with appropriate examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive structure by using transition words and linking ideas more effectively throughout the essay. Your introduction and conclusion are clear, but the body paragraphs lack some coherence and would benefit from improved cohesion.
lexical resource
Your use of synonyms is a good technique to avoid repetition, but be careful not to overuse it. Additionally, aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and accurately.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, although there are some issues with sentence structure and word choice. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence variety to improve your grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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