IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

25.The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

25.The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #people #museums #london #months #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph displays the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals who went to the different types of museums in London from June to October
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015.
Overall
, the
number
 of visitors varied significantly during the
months
,
while
 in the History, National and British museums the quantity increased until August and
then
 decreased. Science
museum
 started to drop
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 September. In June, the most visited
museum
 is the Science
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 with approximately 430,000 visitors, in the next
month
 the
number
 fell by around 30,000, in August it grew again by 10,000, in the fifth
month
 it rocketed to 500,000, but in the
last
month
 it went down to 300,000. The British
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 started the period with nearly 420,000, it jumped rapidly to more or less 710,000 in August, but it started to decline in September and October to under 600,000 and 450,000 respectively. The History
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 remained the
number
 of visitors during the two first
months
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was approximately 400,000, in August it reached its highest point at 600,000 but
then
 it started to drop to 390,000 and 250,000 in the
last
 two
months
.
Finally
, the National
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
, had during the
months
June
Change preposition
of June
show examples
,
July
Correct word choice
and July
show examples
 around 200,000 people, it climbed by 100,000 in the next
month
, afterwards, in September it went down to 200,000, in the
last
month
 the
number
 of people was still decreasing, ending the period with 180,000.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, months, museum, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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