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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

26.The chart below gives information about the average life expectancy in six different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

26.The chart below gives information about the average life expectancy in six different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The bar graph displays the comparison of the average
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 in six nations: Monaco, the United States,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Laos, Rwanda and Kenya
Overall
Linking Words
, Monaco, the United States and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 rate than the other three countries, Kenya had the smallest average and they all are between 50 and 90
years
Use synonyms
 old. People in Monaco have the longest
life
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expectancy
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 compared with the other five countries, with an age of approximately 86, the second longest
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the United States, with 80
years
Use synonyms
 old,
while
Linking Words
Philippines’
Correct article usage
the Philippines’
show examples
 average
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 10
years
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 less than the U.S. which is just above 70
years
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 old. Laos had a number very near to
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, which was nearly 69
years
Use synonyms
 old,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 had around 14
years
Use synonyms
 more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 than Rwanda,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 their average was 55
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Finally
Linking Words
, Kenya had the lowest average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 compared to other countries, with only 50
years
Use synonyms
 old.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, expectancy, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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