IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Libraries are a waste of money, therefore, computers should be used to replace them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#libraries #waste #money #computers
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Across the globe, with the advancement in technology,
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
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 have become so easy and comfortable to do anything from any place.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
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 think that libraries are a waste of money as there are only old types of
books
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 available and no spare
time
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 to sit in the
library
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 to read
books
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.
Moreover
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, the
computer
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 plays a crucial role in everybody's
lives
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 because it is easy to access anywhere and saves
time
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. In my opinion,
computer
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 helps a lot more than libraries. On the one hand,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 think that libraries are just a waste of money. First of all, it will provide only second-hand knowledge as there is no new update in the
books
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.
secondly
Linking Words
, there is no less
time
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people
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 have to spend in the
library
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 because of their hectic schedules and they want everything in a few
second
Fix the agreement mistake
seconds
show examples
 on their table.
For instance
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, an individual who is going to the office and
in
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apply
show examples
the way he gets any information which is unknown to him and he wants that
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
 information, so it is not possible with the help of the
library
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.
Hence
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,
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library
Add an article
the library
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 is
no
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of no
show examples
 use in the present digital world. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 hand, computers play a
myraid
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major
 role in
everyday 's
Change noun form
everyday
show examples
Use synonyms
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
.
Moreover
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, it gives new and latest up to date in your hand with one click.
such
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 as, if a person is working on his project and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
finds it hard to get any clue related to the work but with
help
Correct article usage
the help
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 of
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computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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 he will search
that
Change preposition
for that
show examples
 information in a
second,
Linking Words
additionally
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 , he starts working on it without wasting a single minute.
Therefore
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, digital gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first-hand knowledge as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
library
Use synonyms
books
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. To reiterate, the
library
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 is just useless as compared to
Use synonyms
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
one
Capitalize word
One
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 side of
people
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 believes it is just a money waste and
time
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 and on the
otherside
Correct your spelling
other side
 of
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 thinks it will useful way to sit in
silent
Replace the word
silence
show examples
 and learn
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 our
won
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 pace. In my opinion, in
this
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fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
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 of
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Fix the agreement mistake
life
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lives
Add a comma
lives,
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 it is hard to sit and learn because nobody
have
Change the verb form
has
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time
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 to do all things because there is
limit
Replace the word
limited
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time
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 for doing any work . so, the
computer
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 plays an essential role as compared to the
library
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.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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