Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Groups of youngsters dedicate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most of their daily time to using their

smartphones

. There are a plethora

elements

Change preposition

of elements

show examples

causing

this

This

trend has both benefits and drawbacks, and I will explain them in

this

essay. Using

smartphones

has been increasing among the young generation. One of the reasons is contributing

with

Change preposition

show examples

their friends’ chat groups or online

games

is easy with mobile phones.

For example

, new research

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

reported by the BBC in 2019, mentioned that the average number of hours has been spent on online

games

has soared by 80 per cent since

smartphones

were invented. Every new transformation has some advantages and disadvantages. On the positive side of

this

chance, it can be seen that knowledge of the new generation is expanding in every subject.

For example

, children gain a significant amount of skills by playing online

games

, like creativity, imagination and problem-solving.

Thus

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

new

expertises

Correct your spelling

expertise

show examples

align

Correct subject-verb agreement

aligns

show examples

with a successful career in

their

Change the word

the

show examples

future.

On the other hand

smartphones

bring enormous side effects. Undoubtedly, spending substantial time on utilizing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

phones inevitably links to health problems. A prime example of the health issue is eye difficulties in children. The more hours

spend

Change the form of the verb

spent

show examples

on phones the more every problem they have, like decreasing eyesight and eyesore.

To sum up

using

Wrong verb form

the use of

show examples

smartphones

is going up among children.

Correct word choice

This

show examples

this

tool opens many doors for them, like communicating with their peers easily and participating in many online

games

. Albeit, the prons of

this

change would be a new generation with creative minds and

ability

Correct article usage

the ability

show examples

solving

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

the issues in an efficient way,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the health issues caused by

this

are irreversible, like declining the vision of eyes.

Submitted by fbagheri285 on Mon Oct 23 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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