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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The maps show the layout of school in 1985 and at the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps show the layout of school in 1985 and at the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #layout #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps show a layout of buildings at school in 1985 and how it
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 changed in the present day.
Overall
, the most noticeable changes are related to an increasing number of buildings, transforming the
road
 and narrowing the playing
fields
. In 1985, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 two
car
 parks which
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 bigger and smaller in size. A big
car
park
 was located in the south of the exit and entrance gate. The big
car
park
 was surrounded by the
road
 which
then
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to the playing
fields
. Two classroom buildings, classrooms and classroom block, were constructed next to the playing
fields
 particularly in the east and west of the
road
 respectively. A small
car
park
, which
located
Add a missing verb
is located
show examples
 adjacent to the classrooms that have no storey, is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the opposite side of
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
.
However
,
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 block now is constructed with three storeys because
an
Change preposition
of an
show examples
 increasing number of students up to 800 people. Many new infrastructures have
also
built
Add a missing verb
been built
show examples
 which are
pool
Correct article usage
a pool
show examples
, fitness centre and learning resources centre.
Learning
Correct article usage
The learning
show examples
 resources centre is in the south of the office, and it has
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 room in it.
Furthermore
,
while
 the playing
fields
 decreased in size, the
car
park
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed in form from
semi-rectangle
Correct article usage
a semi-rectangle
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 semi-circle.
Additionally
, the main
road
 just has one straight line in route in the north of
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words road, fields, car, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
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