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Writing Samples
Band 7

The maps below show the layout of school in 1985 and the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the layout of school in 1985 and the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #layout #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps show a layout of buildings at school in 1985 and how it has changed in the present day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most noticeable changes are related to an increasing number of buildings, transforming the
road
Use synonyms
 and narrowing the playing
fields
Use synonyms
. In 1985, there were two
car
Use synonyms
 parks which were bigger and smaller in size. A big
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was located in the south of the exit and entrance gate. The big
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was surrounded by the
road
Use synonyms
 which
then
Linking Words
 led to the playing
fields
Use synonyms
. Two classroom buildings, classrooms and classroom block, were constructed next to the playing
fields
Use synonyms
 particularly in the east and west of the
road
Use synonyms
 respectively. A small
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
, which is located adjacent to the classrooms that have no storey, is on the opposite side of the library.
However
Linking Words
, the classroom block now is constructed with three storeys because of an increasing number of students up to 800 people. Many new infrastructures have
also
Linking Words
 been built which are a pool, fitness centre and learning resources centre. The learning resources centre is in the south of the office, and it has a computer room in it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the playing
fields
Use synonyms
 decreased in size, the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 changed in form from a semi-rectangle to a semi-circle.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the main
road
Use synonyms
 just has one straight line in route in the north of
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, fields, car, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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