Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spot light. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion.

#celebrities #media #attention #spot #light #right #privacy

Famous people make a high income from

media

attention and they have chosen to share their

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

publicly.

Celebrities

have no right to argue when their private

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

getting intruding

Wrong verb form

are intruded

show examples

Change preposition

on by

show examples

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

. In my opinion,

influencers

must have their own private daily routine away from their work.

Therefore

fans

and

media

in general have to respect that.

Firstly

, making a living from social

media

should be recognised as a job just as any other job. Companies and co-workers are always respecting the

employee

Change noun form

employee's

show examples

time after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

working hours,

this

should be applied

for

Change preposition

show examples

celebrities

. Social

media

influencers

spend more than seven hours posting and creating content, but their work never

end

Change the verb form

ends

show examples

, they still have to face the

media

for the rest of the day. In my viewpoint,

governemts

Correct your spelling

governments

should have rules about violating

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

privacy and they must have a normal life.

Secondly

paparazzis

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

show examples

and

fans

must never post the

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrity's

celebrities'

show examples

photos without asking for

permision

Correct your spelling

permission

Influencers

may spend time with their family or friends and they prefer to be away from the

media

attention.

However

, famous people should always respect their

fans

. Personally, I believe that

influencers

have a difficult daily routine but they have to be polite to anyone, that not only makes them friendly but

also

they get more famous by respecting

fans

. In the end,

celebrities

must have their own privacy away from their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

just as the other jobs, where companies and co-workers respect the

employee

Change noun form

employee's

show examples

time.

Paparazzis

Correct your spelling

Paparazzi

should have limits and they must never post any famous

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

pictures without their

permision

Correct your spelling

permission

However

influencers

should always be polite

with

Change preposition

show examples

their

fans

Submitted by ibrakh80 on Mon Oct 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your arguments directly address the question prompt and provide clear, focused responses.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices, such as linking words and connectors, to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language.

grammatical range accuracy

Be more attentive to grammar and sentence structure to improve the accuracy of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.
These days there is an increasing similarity among the number of countries due to the same products being bought worldwide, and view this trend negatively by some people. In my opinion, however, I strongly agree there is a positive phenomenon because it is beneficial to human society from an overall aspect.
7.5
band
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals think that tourists in other nations should follow local clothes and morality, but the other group believe that the host country should welcome the varieties of other cultures.
5.5
band
Some people said that it is prime duty of government of developing countries to provide basic amenities such as health,education. Give your opinion.
People hold distinctive opinions regarding a debate which is linked to the responsibilities of governments of developing countries. Some people think that the first duty of government of developing countries provides their people with fundamental necessities, while others claim that the government should tackle the other topics. In my opinion, although there are plausible arguments to support this perspective, there are also reasons to disagree with it.
7.5
band
Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
Health Care is a fundamental need. Although private enterprises have made it so expensive for normal people, I believe the advantages of private health services overcome their disadvantages. It can be explained by analyzing the differences in waiting time and emergency attention from both public and private services.
6
band
qaqas) . The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, means of transport namely cars or motorbikes are one of the factors causing environmental issues. It is believed that the legal bodies should elevate the taxes on the price of petrol and gas used as material for a significant number of vehicles. From my perspective, this opinion is valid to a certain extent, but I still it is quite reasonable. The following paragraphs would shed light on my viewpoint.

Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spot light. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people said that it is prime duty of government of developing countries to provide basic amenities such as health,education. Give your opinion.

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

qaqas) . The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?