Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spot light. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion.

#celebrities #media #attention #spot #light #right #privacy

Famous people make a high income from

media

attention and they have chosen to share their

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

publicly.

Celebrities

have no right to argue when their private

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

getting intruding

Wrong verb form

are intruded

show examples

Change preposition

on by

show examples

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

. In my opinion,

influencers

must have their own private daily routine away from their work.

Therefore

fans

and

media

in general have to respect that.

Firstly

, making a living from social

media

should be recognised as a job just as any other job. Companies and co-workers are always respecting the

employee

Change noun form

employee's

show examples

time after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

working hours,

this

should be applied

for

Change preposition

show examples

celebrities

. Social

media

influencers

spend more than seven hours posting and creating content, but their work never

end

Change the verb form

ends

show examples

, they still have to face the

media

for the rest of the day. In my viewpoint,

governemts

Correct your spelling

governments

should have rules about violating

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

privacy and they must have a normal life.

Secondly

paparazzis

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

show examples

and

fans

must never post the

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrity's

celebrities'

show examples

photos without asking for

permision

Correct your spelling

permission

Influencers

may spend time with their family or friends and they prefer to be away from the

media

attention.

However

, famous people should always respect their

fans

. Personally, I believe that

influencers

have a difficult daily routine but they have to be polite to anyone, that not only makes them friendly but

also

they get more famous by respecting

fans

. In the end,

celebrities

must have their own privacy away from their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

just as the other jobs, where companies and co-workers respect the

employee

Change noun form

employee's

show examples

time.

Paparazzis

Correct your spelling

Paparazzi

should have limits and they must never post any famous

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

pictures without their

permision

Correct your spelling

permission

However

influencers

should always be polite

with

Change preposition

show examples

their

fans

Submitted by ibrakh80 on Mon Oct 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your arguments directly address the question prompt and provide clear, focused responses.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices, such as linking words and connectors, to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language.

grammatical range accuracy

Be more attentive to grammar and sentence structure to improve the accuracy of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
You recently read an article about the benefits of volunteering and community work for high school students. Many people feel that these activities should be included as part of the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea? Provide reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Doing community service is one of the most valuable jobs that one can do in society. There are several suggestions trying to instill this sense of humanitarianism into society and one controversial policy is to make pupils get familiar with this notion in schools. Although individuals who are learning this at younger ages are more likely to do it hands-on in the community, the potential side effect on students' studies is something that could not be overlooked easily.
7.5
band
Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: Tell your friend about the job and what sort of work,if Involves say why you think the job would be suitable for her/him explain how to apply for this job
I hope you are doing well. I am very glad to hear that, you got admitted to the University of New York. I would like to hear about your experience with your accommodation and life-changing movements in New York. Your parents told me that you are looking for a part-time job to cover your living expenses, then I have some news for you. My friend is looking for an accountant for his restaurant, which is located downtown just one mile away from your new home, you just need to manage his business account.
5.5
band
Older generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thoughts and behavior. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree
During the current era of modernization, the new generation has less tendency for traditions, ideas and beliefs that elders still kept hold on them. I strongly believe that these thoughts are the valuable heritage of mankind and might even play a significant role in our societies. This essay, revealing the rationales behind the arguments, demonstrates the reasons why people still should understand and keep their traditions alive.
5
band
ome people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both view and your opinion
There has been a long debate between learning different subjects . Some individuals say that the importance of learning science and technology is more, on the other hand, others state that History is more informative than other subjects. As far as I am concerned, I am in favour of putting more focus on learning technology and science, In the further part of the essay, the reasons for the same will be discussed.
7.5
band
In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion, what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing?
Fashion has changed drastically from how it used to be years before now, and people do not want to feel left out in this change, so they begin to follow and dress accordingly to the latest fashion trends. People are influenced by the desire to feel confident in themselves and also because of the influence of their favourite celebrities. In my opinion, it is a bad thing.

Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spot light. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: Tell your friend about the job and what sort of work,if Involves say why you think the job would be suitable for her/him explain how to apply for this job

Older generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thoughts and behavior. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree

ome people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both view and your opinion

In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion, what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing?