The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

#information #families #country #income

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The graph illustrates the data about in 1968 and 2018

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

family

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

their money

Change preposition

apply

show examples

weekly in one country.

Overall

Linking Words

, people spent a lot of money on food compared to other types of spending was highest in 1968.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

parent had changed in 2018, and the family

using

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

their money equally for food, housing and leisure.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the spreading type of food was higher than another type around 35% in 1968, but decreased dramatically in 2018.

In addition

Linking Words

, the percentage of spending

Change preposition

show examples

housing and clothing was similar percentage became

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

higher

Correct word choice

highest

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

spending around 10%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, household goods, personal goods and transport were nearly 10%.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

different parties in 2018. The percentage of leisure was the highest spending compared to

another type

Fix the agreement mistake

other types

show examples

also

Linking Words

more than double that of 1968.

Furthermore

Linking Words

housing spreading in 2018 was

also

Linking Words

higher than in 1968 around 10% becoming the second highest spending.

Submitted by chien10955 on Mon Oct 23 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

156 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Weekly income
Expenditure
Consumption patterns
Cost of living
Discretionary spending
Inflation
Economic indicators
Demographics
Socio-economic factors
Technology advancements
Government policies
Consumerism
Lifestyle changes
Fiscal habits
Budget allocation
Financial priorities
Societal trends
Purchasing power
Income distribution

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The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

Some people believe that music is a universal language that can bring people together, while others think that it is a form of entertainment that has little real value in society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that music has no practical value and should not be taught to school children. Instead, they should spend school time on useful subjects such as computing or science. Do you agree or disagree?

Over the past few decades, technological appliances have increasingly become common features inclass. Context, many people worry that this may lead to the disappearance of traditional educators?to what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that it is more common way to learn history by watching movies instead of reading books. Does the advantages of this ought weight the disadvantages?

Now a lot of people in colleges are doing academic studies. We should encourage them to learn vocational skills (like plumbing). Do you agree or disagree?