The graph below shows the number of Asian elephants between 1997 and 2004

The graph below shows the number of Asian elephants between 1997 and 2004
The bar chart above illustrates the expected highest population of Asian
elephants
.
Overall
, there was a downward trend in the figure of
elephants
in the countries listed. In 1997, standing at 10000
individuals
, India was the country which owned the most
elephants
, followed by Myanmar with about 6000, and Thailand with 4000.
While
there was a sharp decrease in the figure of beasts in India and Thailand, a slight decrease was seen in Myanmar. In 2004, the
number
of
individuals
in India decreased by 2000,
while
in Thailand, it decreased by more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, from 4000 to only 1800. Myanmar dropped slightly, from about 6000 to 5500.
On the other hand
, in 1997, the
number
of
elephants
in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia was the same, with about 1500
individuals
,
while
in Sri Lanka and Malaysia, it was 3000. China was the least with only 1000
individuals
. After 7 years, the
number
of
elephants
in Vietnam, Laos and Sri Lanka decreased slightly,
while
the
number
of beasts in Malaysia and China decreased
over
Change preposition
by over
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half.
Additionally
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Cambodia slightly increased.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words elephants, individuals, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuated
  • decline
  • increase
  • drop
  • steady decrease
  • recover
  • habitat loss
  • poaching
  • efforts
  • protect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: