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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
Nowadays, the value of taking
risks
 is being promoted both in professional realms and in everyday life. From my personal perspective, the positive outcome of it definitely outweighs the potential damage.
To begin
 with,
people
 should be encouraged to take
risks
 for the reason that it can enable them to have greater achievements. In
China
Add a comma
China,
show examples
 there is an old saying that goes, “Without entering the cave of the tiger,
one
 can never find the son of it.”, which means “Without risk, there is no gain.” With riskier decisions usually comes much better rewards –
this
 is a generally acknowledged truth to everyone.
For instance
, the risk of buying funds is definitely higher than saving money in the bank,
however
, the interest rate of the former is
also
 considerably higher. For
people
 who aspire to accomplish more, taking
risks
 serves as an ideal way to meet their goals.
In addition
 to
this
, taking
risks
 is beneficial to
people
 as it forces them to think it through when making choices.
Risks
 are accompanied by potential negative consequences, which most
people
 aver. To avoid ending up in a dire situation,
one
 will likely be prudent to act. It is probable that he/she will carefully weigh the situation, making feasible and detailed plans and, more importantly, take every step with caution and meticulousness, in order to make sure he/she can succeed. In
this
 way, there is more chance that
one
 can reach his/her goals than irrespective of thinking and doing.
Although
 taking too many
risks
 can sometimes destroy
people
’s lives, adding to life
Correct article usage
a moderate
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moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
show examples
 amount of them is never going to throw
one
 into some completely hopeless situation. In my opinion, taking
risks
 can bring
people
 more benefits than harm.
Submitted by 1762832590 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be improved to better address the task prompt and provide a more comprehensive overview of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, but the link between the examples and the main points could be strengthened for a more coherent argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a partially complete response to the task prompt, but some ideas are not fully developed, and the argument could be more comprehensive.
task achievement
The ideas presented are somewhat clear, but more specific and comprehensive examples could be provided to support the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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