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Writing Samples
Band 6

With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school such as physical education, cookery should be removed from syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#pressures #people #subjects #school #education #cookery #syllabus #children
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It is indubitable that there is a higher level of strain on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters to accomplish their educational goals.
Thus
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, some individuals advocate that non-academic courses
such
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 as physical education and
cookery
Use synonyms
 should be eliminated from the school syllabus; so that pupils can focus on academic
subjects
Use synonyms
. I vehemently disagree with the statement. In
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reasons behind my opinion and illustrate them with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, in
this
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 competitive world, it is quite difficult to manage a job in
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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 country or in a foreign country.
Moreover
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, extracurricular activities give candidates more priority than their counterparts, those who have
not
Correct your spelling
no
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specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
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 without academic results. What is more, some students tend to find their professions from their hobbies in non-academic
subjects
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.
For instance
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, all young students are not good at traditional
subjects
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, so if they have
talent
Correct article usage
a talent
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in
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for
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 drawing or painting, they can be an artist in professional
life
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. Moving
further
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, non-compulsory
subjects
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such
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 as sports, arts and
cookery
Use synonyms
 allow children to learn
life
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 skills which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 them in practical
life
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. An illustration of
this
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 is students can enhance their knowledge about healthy food
recipe
Fix the agreement mistake
recipes
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 from
cookery
Use synonyms
 class so that they will be conscious about health which will keep them physically fit. Apparently, recreational courses support learners to reduce stress from academic
life
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, non-academic courses are not ignorable for children's well-being.
To conclude
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, nowadays there is a huge pressure on youth to succeed academically.
As a consequence
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, some people claim that optional
subjects
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such
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 as art,
cookery
Use synonyms
 and music should be excluded from the school syllabus.
Then
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 learners can concentrate on academic study. I completely disagree with the opinion;
reasons
Correct word choice
and reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 disagreement mentioned in
this
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 essay.
Submitted by himalhi.deepthi on

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