With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school such as physical education, cookery should be removed from syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#pressures #people #subjects #school #education #cookery #syllabus #children

It is indubitable that there is a higher level of strain on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters to accomplish their educational goals.

Thus

, some individuals advocate that non-academic courses

such

as physical education and

cookery

should be eliminated from the school syllabus; so that pupils can focus on academic

subjects

. I vehemently disagree with the statement. In

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

essay, I will discuss the reasons behind my opinion and illustrate them with relevant examples.

To begin

with, in

this

competitive world, it is quite difficult to manage a job in

own

Correct pronoun usage

your own

show examples

country or in a foreign country.

Moreover

, extracurricular activities give candidates more priority than their counterparts, those who have

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

specialty

Change the spelling

speciality

show examples

without academic results. What is more, some students tend to find their professions from their hobbies in non-academic

subjects

For instance

, all young students are not good at traditional

subjects

, so if they have

talent

Correct article usage

a talent

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

drawing or painting, they can be an artist in professional

life

. Moving

further

, non-compulsory

subjects

such

as sports, arts and

cookery

allow children to learn

life

skills which

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

them in practical

life

. An illustration of

this

is students can enhance their knowledge about healthy food

recipe

Fix the agreement mistake

recipes

show examples

from

cookery

class so that they will be conscious about health which will keep them physically fit. Apparently, recreational courses support learners to reduce stress from academic

life

Thus

, non-academic courses are not ignorable for children's well-being.

To conclude

, nowadays there is a huge pressure on youth to succeed academically.

As a consequence

, some people claim that optional

subjects

such

as art,

cookery

and music should be excluded from the school syllabus.

Then

learners can concentrate on academic study. I completely disagree with the opinion;

reasons

Correct word choice

and reasons

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

disagreement mentioned in

this

essay.

Submitted by himalhi.deepthi on Mon Oct 23 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school such as physical education, cookery should be removed from syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

successful sports orifessionals can earn a great deal more money that people in other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is ufair.

Some people think that children should be thought How to cook at school, Others argue that it is a waste of time for writing ielts

Currently, there is a trend toward alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst, they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Use examples and explanations to support your opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, develop countries should give other types of help to the poor countries, rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that visitors to others countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Other disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. ▪️Discuss both views and give your opinion.