Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?
Recently, there has been an alarming trend of
students
struggling to focus at school. This
can be explained by the popularity of social media applications and rigid adherence to a traditional teaching approach, and I believe the resolute actions proposed in this
essay offer potential improvements.
To begin
with, the aforementioned problem has roots in two main factors. The first one is distractions from social networking applications. Facebook and Instagram, for instance
, purposefully strive for consistent engagement through positive reinforcement by pushing real-time updates on friends and viral videos that young users often find difficult to ignore during lessons. Another sound explanation is the monotony of classrooms. Many lectures lack relevance to real life, endorsing a repetitive course of tedious theoretical assignments and lectures while
failing to motivate the students
with varied content.
To address the underlying causes, I would propose two solutions. Firstly
, schools should impose a complete ban of
portable devices in classrooms. All personal handsets could be stored in a secure room, labelled properly to be returned to their owners after class ends. Change preposition
on
This
would effectively block the stream of potential distractions from online networking sites. Secondly
, educators should redesign lecture content to be more practical. For example
, business schools could work in collaboration with enterprises to incorporate factual case studies and engaging biographical material about entrepreneurs. Once engaged, these students
will be more likely to focus more fully on their studies, ensuring higher chances of success after graduation.
In conclusion, a great number of students
nowadays pay little attention at school due to
the advent of social media platforms and lessons largely irrelevant to their needs. However
, if schools adopt handset-free classroom policies and modernise the curriculum, students
will become more attentive.Submitted by Nhu Pham on
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task response
Well done on addressing the main points of the essay prompt and offering comprehensive solutions. Ensure that the solutions are tied more explicitly to the reasons mentioned.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Continue to connect the ideas within paragraphs for smoother cohesion.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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