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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #year #gap #work #university #chance #horizons #waste #time
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Taking a
gap
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year
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 has been becoming more popular among
pupils
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 in recent years.
While
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 some people believe that a
gap
Use synonyms
year
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 may
positive
Add a missing verb
have positive
show examples
 effects on students, others argue it may not. I, personally, believe that
this
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 decision should depend on
individual’s
Correct article usage
the individual’s
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 personal life and aim, and I will explain
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
show examples
this
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 essay. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, many people believe
in
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that
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 taking a
gap
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year
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 may give huge amounts of benefits to
pupils
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. They can travel around the world in their
gap
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year
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 which gives them a valuable chance to meet new people,
develop
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and develop
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 their
communications
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communication
show examples
 or language skills. They can
also
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 work in
gap
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Use synonyms
year
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years
show examples
 and
this
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 provides a
job
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 experiment
to
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apply
show examples
them before
embark
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embarking
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 on college
education
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, which may put them one step ahead in the line of business
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while
Correct word choice
when
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 they
appliying
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apply
 for a
job
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 after their college
education
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. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, taking a
gap
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year
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 may be costly for some
pupils
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, those who
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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 not strong financial funds.
Additionally
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, being far away from
education
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 may result in a loss of academic momentum, and these students may have some troubles when they turn back the
education
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.
Furthermore
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,
pupils
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 could lose some incentives, including bursaries or scholarships in their
gap
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year
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.
Finally
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, I believe that the decision, whether
taking
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to take
show examples
 a
gap
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year
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 should depend on
individual's
Correct article usage
the individual's
show examples
 priorities. If their aim is
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
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 in a
job
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 market, a
gap
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year
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 would be effective to learn the
job
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 in the kitchen.
Whereas
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 for those who are willing to be part of
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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certain jobs
such
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 as advocacy, medicine which require
well-rounded
Correct article usage
a well-rounded
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education
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, a
gap
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year
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 may disrupt their academic momentum. In conclusion, taking a
gap
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year
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 could be very effective and
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 or harmful and distracting for
pupils
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according to
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 their purpose. Their aim and financial status should have a key role
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
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 decision.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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