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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #adult #smokers #seven #countries #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the ratio of young male
smokers
Use synonyms
 in seven different countries (
Armenia
Use synonyms
, Egypt, Lebanon,
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
, Cuba,
Mexico
Use synonyms
, and
Australia
Use synonyms
.) and compares their
percentage
Use synonyms
 with the world within 15 years. Units were measured in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of male
smokers
Use synonyms
 fluctuated throughout the years but their
percentage
Use synonyms
 in
Armenia
Use synonyms
 and
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
 were greater as compared to other rustics.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
 contain the least number.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the rate of adult
smokers
Use synonyms
 in
Armenia
Use synonyms
 in the year 2000 is at a high
percentage
Use synonyms
 among all other bucolics. It is almost near to touching 70%.
Whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 was decreased in
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
 it was about 62 % respectively.
While
Linking Words
Mexico
Use synonyms
 contained about above 30% and
Australia
Use synonyms
 is at lowest and in that they were about near to 30 %.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in the year 2015,
this
Linking Words
 ratio decreased in
Armenia
Use synonyms
 and
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
 and reached about 50 % in
Armenia
Use synonyms
 and below 40% in
Bangladesh
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
 contain a reduced number of
smokers
Use synonyms
 about 20% and 15% respectively.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers, armenia, bangladesh, mexico, australia, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart, percentage, adult male smokers
  • world average, increased, decreased
  • tobacco consumption, lung cancer
  • public health, awareness campaigns
  • government policy, smoking bans
  • health risks, nicotine, tobacco industry
  • chart analysis, data comparison
  • statistical trend, significant fluctuation
  • stagnation, steady rise, moderate fall
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