IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.
The line graph provides information about the quantity of
shops
Use synonyms
, which stopped working and started their business during 2018 and 2018. In general, it is noticeable that the
shops
Use synonyms
, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 opened during the period of time, have a significant downward trend compared to the closed
shops
Use synonyms
, which shows a
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
 fall in the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
shops
Use synonyms
. It was a significant decrease and,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
started working
Add a hyphen
started-working
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2014 (8500
shops
Use synonyms
 compared to 4000 in 2012 and 6000 in 2014). Afterwards, there was a
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
 fall in 2015 (from 6000
shops
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 to 4000
shops
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). A
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 fluctuation can be
also
Linking Words
 observed in 2017, which led to a slight decrease in 2018 (from 4000
shops
Use synonyms
 to 3000).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 had a slight fluctuation, which led to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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 and increase in the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2014 (from 6500
shops
Use synonyms
 to 6700 approximately).
However
Linking Words
, there was a
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
show examples
 drop in 2015 (from 6700 to 500
shops
Use synonyms
) and
Correct article usage
a sharply
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sharply
Change the word
sharp
show examples
 increase in 2016 (from 500 to 5100
shops
Use synonyms
 approximately). Afterwards,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 noticeable a slight fluctuation in
numbers
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2018, but the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 remained stable.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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