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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, the wealthy in society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the environmental disadvantages of this development outweigh the economic advantages?

#society #products #models #development
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Nowadays,
products
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very good condition are constantly replaced by new and more modern options. I strongly believe that the economic benefits surpass the environmental drawbacks. The main reason I support the economic positive aspects of replacing used
products
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 is because of the impact
at
Change preposition
on
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 the
nacional
Correct your spelling
national
 industry. It is well known that the industry is one of the biggest
responsibles
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for employment in
this
Linking Words
 country, and attacking the consumption of brand new
products
Use synonyms
 will have a direct impact
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the employment numbers.
For example
Linking Words
, the biggest employer in my state, São Paulo, is the automobile industry.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a huge market of used
products
Use synonyms
 that would be affected if we
stop
Wrong verb form
stopped
show examples
 buying new
products
Use synonyms
.
In particular
Linking Words
, a considerable part of our population does not have the budget for pursuing new
products
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is a very popular market in Sao Paulo, where people usually go not only to find used
products
Use synonyms
 in good shape
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 to sell the objects they do not use anymore.
However
Linking Words
, the replacement of old
products
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a downside for the environmental aspect. It happens because some of those objects do not find new owners, and they are frequently becoming trash. Electronics are the most common example of a product that once it does not work anymore, usually
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 to the garbage. In conclusion, I believe that the economic merits of replacing used
products
Use synonyms
 outweigh the drawbacks. The employment impact that would be caused by reducing the consumption of new
products
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 the damage at the used market surpass the environmental negative aspects.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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