IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #success #life #risks #chances #results #support
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Growing up teachers used to tell us that the key to success is education,
however
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,
that is
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 not the case. There are so many factors that
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
 to a happy and lavish lifestyle. Various people think risk takers or those who
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 chances will be successful in their lives,whilst several believe it results in
carefully
Change the word
careful
show examples
 planning. I agree with those that believe success comes from taking risks, like what they say "if you don't try you will never know"
however
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, risking only does not solve it there's
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 to be organised To a larger extent, I stand with those who believe in taking risks,
one
Use synonyms
 day will change your life for good,
for example
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,
Change preposition
for
show examples
those who play lotto or bet online life can change in a blink of an eye. Even though it's
nerve wrecking
Correct the spelling
nerve-wracking
nerve-racking
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 to partake
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 something you are not sure of,it is always worth the try,
one
Use synonyms
 day will change a person's story
Although
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 taking chances leads to success there is
also
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 another point which needs to be taken into consideration,
thus
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 the ability to plan,
one
Use synonyms
 needs to be a planner. People need to know what they want in life and
also
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 how to
achieve
Correct pronoun usage
achieve it
show examples
.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 there's
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 to set goals and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 on them .
In addition
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 to
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 a person needs to be disciplined to be successful In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 it's always good to take risks
although
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 you can lose a lot of money in the process,
on the other
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hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 needs to be organised and have the ability to plan properly to be successful. These two
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 hand
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hand
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task achievement
Provide a clear opinion on which factor you believe success comes from and support it throughout the essay
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure with introduction and conclusion
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and strive for more precise word choices
grammatical range and accuracy
Pay attention to your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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