IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cites Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cites Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph provides information about how
temperatures
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changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 monthly in
London
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, New
York
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 and Sydney and
table
Add an article
a table
the table
show examples
 gives data about hours of sunshine for a year in the same cities.
From
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At
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first
glance
Add a comma
glance,
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 we can notice that New
York
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 has both the highest indicators of
temperatures
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 in July and the lowest in
January
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 and,
in addition
Linking Words
, more time of sunshine,
while
Linking Words
London
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 has less number of it. Looking at the pictures in more detail, we see that points of Sydney fluctuate slightly. Specifically, it is around 25
degrees
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 from
January
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 to March,
then
Linking Words
 it is observed considerable fall, reaching 15
degrees
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 in July.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
temperatures
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 go back to warming,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increasing significantly to 25 in November. And summary, the amount of
sunshines’s
Change the wording
sunshine’s
rays of sunshine’s
bursts of sunshine’s
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 hours there is 2,473. Turning to
London
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 and New
York
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, cities have approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 trends. Between
January
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 and the end of March,
degrees
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 in New
York
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 go up negligibly from 4 to 11, reaching
nearby
Correct your spelling
nearly
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 the same level
with
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as
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London
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, which was 8 in
January
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. In April weather in New
York
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 rapidly shoot up, getting the peak of heat at 30 in July, which is probably
cause
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caused
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 by
high
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a high
the high
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 number of sunshine time
as
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of
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 2,535.
Change preposition
At the
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The
Change preposition
At the
show examples
 same time in
London
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temperatures
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increase
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increases
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 to 23, accompanied by annual hours of sun as 1,180.
Then
Linking Words
 in September and October figures equal in three cities at around 20-21. Afterwards, the weather returns to
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
 points, to 8
degrees
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 in
London
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’s December,
while
Linking Words
 New
York
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 is a little bit colder, having 5
degrees
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperatures, london, york, january, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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