IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In recent times, the number of people who tend to run their own businesses has increased significantly.
This
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 is owing to the fact that job independence brings great benefits to the owner in terms of economic aspects and having a flexible timetable. I would argue that
this
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 trend has its own disadvantages which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. One of the primary rationales behind the increasing preference for self-employment is the strong desire for independence and control over your time. To elaborate on my point, if you work on your own, you might have the capability to manage your schedules geared to your lifestyle. What it means is that there is no obligation to be in your workplace at a certain time.
For instance
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, being freelance can pave the way for earning more money since the profits are not shared with an employer.
On the other hand
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, embarking on a self-employment journey
also
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 entails a set of distinct drawbacks. To present a better explanation, one of the primary problems is the absence of job security and benefits typically provided by traditional employment including health insurance and paid leave.
Furthermore
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, statistics show that business owners might have to deal with more stress as it is challenging to maintain a work-life balance. To cite an example, one of my friends started up her online shop. After a
while
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, she had a panic attack as she was so agitated about paying her debts and she was fully responsible for all the work ranging from financial management and customer service.
To sum up
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, having an independent occupation can be rewarding regarding financial issues and flexibility. As far as I am concerned, it has some merits but the disadvantages outweigh the positive parts.

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vocabulary expansion
To make your argument even more compelling, try incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to express your points. This will help to enrich your essay and provide a more nuanced perspective on the topic.
specific examples
Consider adding more detailed, specific examples to support your arguments. While you've given a general instance about a friend's experience, more concrete statistics or case studies could strengthen your points.
exploring positive aspects
Though your essay provides a balanced view, further exploration of the positive aspects of being self-employed could offer a more rounded examination of the topic. This could involve discussing innovation, personal fulfillment, or the potential for scaling a business.
structure
Your essay exhibits a strong structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization greatly aids in presenting your arguments in a coherent manner.
use of transitions
You effectively use transition words ('On the other hand,' 'To sum up') to guide the reader through your essay, enhancing the flow and coherence of your writing.
balanced discussion
You present a balanced view, exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed. This comprehensive approach allows the reader to gain a full understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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