In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work, and accommodate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In today's world, technology has an influence on
people
's lives. They are purchasing online, working as well as
accommodating without any contact with each other. In my opinion, I firmly believe that it has a positive development, while
there are a number of arguments.
To begin
with, there are several benefits of the online media. First of all, the Internet
helps people
to save a significant amount of time
. For instance
, when it comes to shopping people
do not have to spend their time
choosing throughout all shopping centres. Furthermore
, nowadays people
can buy almost everything on the Internet
. In addition
, online working reduces spent time
on the way to work every day.
However
, during the development of the Internet
, there are still drawbacks to humans in some aspects. Firstly
, the Internet
changes the way humans interact to no contact. In other words
, it causes unreliable relationships in society, while
in the past people
used to communicate with one another by face-to-face meetings. Moreover
, if humans less interact in society, it can cause more crimes due to
no close relations. Secondly
, accessibility for everything might lead to more cybercrime and rise a chance of terrorist attacks. The convenience and reach of the digital world have created new challenges for security and privacy.
In conclusion, while
technology has brought numerous advantages, including time
savings and accessibility, it has also
raised concerns regarding the quality of human interactions and security. Striking a balance between the benefits and potential drawbacks of technology is crucial for a well-functioning and secure society.Submitted by wsvllnl on
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Structure
Try to ensure each paragraph elaborates on a specific aspect of your argument to enhance clarity. This could involve dedicating individual paragraphs to the benefits and drawbacks, then neatly tying them together in the conclusion.
Language
Consider diversifying sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your expression. This can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Content
Including more detailed and personalized examples could strengthen your arguments. Specific, real-world instances provide concrete evidence to support your points, making your essay more convincing.
Task Achievement
You have effectively articulated your standpoint on the issue, making sure that your perspective is clear throughout the essay, which is essential for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a good logical flow, connecting ideas smoothly and making the argument easy to follow, which is crucial for Coherence and Cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, framing your essay's argument neatly and contributing to a cohesive whole, aligning with the criteria for high marks in Coherence and Cohesion.
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