The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
The flow diagram illustrates the steps involved in producing
sugar
from the
sugar
canes. We can see that there are 7 steps involved in manufacturing
sugar
, and
sugar
cane is used as the initial material for
this
process. first of all,
sugar
cane is grown on the farmlands. After about 12-18 months
that
Correct word choice
when
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they become ready for picking, the canes are harvested either manually by the farmers or by using some special machinery.
The next step is
crushing, where the
sugar
cane is turned into juice through the crushing machine. after that, the juice is ready to be purified
Change preposition
by
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through
Change preposition
by
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passing the limestone filter.
then
the purified juice is heated inside the evaporator
,
Remove the comma
apply
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so that syrup is left for the next step which is centrifuging. During
this
stage,
sugar
crystals are separated from the syrup and transformed into a container to be dried and cooled which is the final step.
lastly
, the
sugar
is ready to be packed and
labeled
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labelled
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in order to be sent to the market.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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