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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that young people should concentrate on study or work, but some people think it is better to put energy in activities designed to broaden their experience, such as international travel and volunteering. Discuss with examples or cases.

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The impact of concentration has sparked major controversy in society.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that young
people
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 should concentrate on studying or work, others claim that the opposite holds true.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and
thus
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 lead to a logical conclusion.
Firstly
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, there are numerous reasons why
people
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 argue that young
people
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 should concentrate on studying or work, but the most crucial one stems from the fact that we can hardly focus on one thing for a long time, because the human brain isn’t built for extended focal point will play a vital role in concentrate. As a matter of fact, they are focused 100% on what they’re doing in many situations.
According to
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 a recent study conducted by reputable researchers at Sydney University, some jobs,
such
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 as being a surgeon or being a doctor will greatly contribute to requiring ultimate absorption for
such
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 detailed jobs.
However
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, some
people
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 adopt an opposing view and tend to believe that the opposite holds true. It is largely attributed to the fact that some
people
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 think it is better to put energy into activities designed to broaden their experience may have a negative impact on leading to mental health conditions. To be more precise, the disadvantages of some
people
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 working our butt off might be
due to
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 becoming too scattered to spotlight on anything.
For example
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, the downsides of consolidation issues can get distracted or feel drained and depression is critical. In conclusion,
while
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 there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I strongly believe that if everyone needs concentration the best method to concentrate is to have a routine
such
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 as exercise and proper nutrition. It will help you find it easier to focal point.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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