IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The belowshow the changes in Templeton between 200 and 2013.

#belowshow #changes #templeton
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The comparison of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 maps reveals the transformation from the green seaside resort to the industrial region in Templeton nearest the sea within 13 years from 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Templeton resort area witnessed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrialisation,
as a result
Linking Words
 of
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a myriad of trees
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 cut out.
Initially
Linking Words
, the central bridges were not exposed to any changes, to the north
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them, the resort infrastructure both school and hospital stayed the same. whilst there were
exerted
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buildings
such
Linking Words
 as modern houses which were located to the east side of the lake. In 2000 in the area between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 bridges
were located
Wrong verb form
,
show examples
 some trees,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were chop
Change the verb form
were chopped
show examples
 down
for giving
Change preposition
to give
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way to the new houses.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
direction
Correct article usage
the direction
show examples
 to the south from the bridges there is a seacoast, which was
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
completely modernised in 2013 by lengthening of railways, which were stretching along the coastline towards the West. In the
South-West
Add a comma
South-West,
show examples
 the number of trees was reduced by appearing of up-coming blocks of flats, from where to the north there was a supermarket. From the east shore of the river there
weas
Correct your spelling
was
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 up a factory close to
railway
Add an article
the railway
show examples
 station.
Submitted by arinatiutina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: