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Band 4

Many universities students wants to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other feels it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualifications. Discuss both the view and give your own opinion.

#universities #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualifications
It is irrefutable that, education is the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success and after completing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 individuals go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities and colleges
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
 their higher studies in
a specific fields
Correct the article-noun agreement
a specific field
specific fields
show examples
. As universities
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
education in different
subjects
 sometimes it attracts many students to have other optional
subjects
 with their major studies.
While several
Correct word choice
Several
show examples
 individuals believe that student should provide their
priorities
Replace the word
prioritise
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying their main
degree's
Change noun form
degree
show examples
 subject
instead
 of other
subjects
.
Let
Add a missing verb
Let's
show examples
 discuss the topic in the upcoming paragraphs. To dive into the topic, numerous
universities
Change the noun form
university
show examples
scholars
 take
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in learning other
subjects
 with their main
subjects
 because some
scholars
 have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 keen interest in learning new
subjects
 which helps them to enhance their knowledge.
Moreover
, many students
wantd
Correct your spelling
wanted
want
 additional
subjects
 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 extra curriculum activity.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 helps
scholars
 to reduce their study stress and
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 to do more handwork. Flipping to the other side, many people
holds
Change the verb form
hold
show examples
 the notion that students should give importance to their major studies because if
scholars
 learn additional
subjects
 it will distract them
to learn
Change preposition
from learning
show examples
 major
subjects
 which is
curical
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for their qualification.
Further
, learning additional
subjects
 can create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 burden on
scholars
 as they already have so many main
subjects
for
Change preposition
to
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 study which is very hard for them and additional
subjects
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will lead
problems
Change preposition
to problems
show examples
. Pondering on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
, I opine that learning different
subjects
 will
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
scholars
 to explore new things . It may
also
 lead them to know about their talents and interests which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 them a better career option.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion , learning
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
subjects
 will
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to do something different from their comfort zone
.but
Correct your spelling
but
 additional
subjects
 should always be optional for the student because it may lead them to take
interest
Add an article
an interest
show examples
 if they want.
Submitted by simranjeet.can88 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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