Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Most
children
nowadays have hours of screen
time
on their smartphones in
Change preposition
on
daily
basis. Correct article usage
a daily
This
fact happened due to
lots of interesting features that easily
accessible Add a missing verb
are easily
in
the Change preposition
on
smartphone
, such
as child songs, Youtube
for kids, and a broad range of games. Considering the impact of social skills and Correct your spelling
YouTube
lacking
Wrong verb form
lack of
exercise
, I believe that the existence of smart devices could be a negative factor for children
’s development.
Initially
, socializing in real life is important to grow the social skills that can’t be found in smartphone
. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Children
needs
to socialize with their peers and elder people in various circumstances to drive their emotional stability. As an example, my Change the verb form
need
five-years old
cousin used to have a high Add a hyphen
five-years-old
screen
time
in
her Change preposition
on
smartphone
due to
COVID-19 condition
that required us to stay at home during the pandemic. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
This
behaviour has a major impact on her unstable emotion
compared to her older brother Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
that
socialized more Correct pronoun usage
who
in
her age.
Change preposition
at
Furthermore
, a
high Correct article usage
apply
screen
time
took away children
from doing exercise
that remain
a vital role Verb problem
plays
for
their physical growth. To support Change preposition
in
this
opinion, research shows that a
higher Correct article usage
apply
screen
time
leads to decreasing
performance Wrong verb form
decreased
on
Change preposition
in
child’s
brain development. Correct article usage
a child’s
For instance
, we can see the growing numbers
of gyms that are intended for Fix the agreement mistake
number
children
to fulfil the
sufficient Correct article usage
apply
exercise
in their golden age. In my country, most parents reacted positively by bringing their children
to the gym as they have
realized the importance of Unnecessary verb
apply
exercise
for the children
.
In summary, children
need to limit the time
spend
on their Wrong verb form
spent
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
concerning
the negative influence on Change preposition
because of
the
social development and physical growth aspect. By decreasing the Change the word
their
screen
time
gradually, children
could enjoy more time
in real life socializing and doing sufficient exercise
.Submitted by kania.tunggadewi on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite