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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The given bar chart illustrates the outcome data about
people
Use synonyms
’s
coffee
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 and tea purchasing and drinking habits in five
cities
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 in
Australia
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such
Linking Words
 as
Sydney
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,
Melbourne
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,
Brisbane
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,
Adelaide
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, and
Hobart
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
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 prefer to directly come to the cafe
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 their
coffee
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 and tea in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks rather than take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, going to a cafe is the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 option for five
cities
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 in
Australia
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, with the highest percentage being
Melbourne
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,
Hobart
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, and
Sydney
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. In those 3
cities
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, more than 60% of
people
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 enjoyed their
coffee
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 and tea in the cafe in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks, followed by
Brisbane
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 and
Adelaide
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the second best option for drinking habits for
people
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 in
Australia
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 is purchasing instant
coffee
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.
This
Linking Words
 option is quite popular in
Hobart
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,
Brisbane
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, and
Adelaide
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 (54%, 53%, and 50% respectively), followed by
Melbourne
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 and
Sydney
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 with 49% and 46%. In comparison, there is
such
Linking Words
 a large gap proportion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
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 who purchased fresh
coffee
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. No more than half brought their fresh
coffee
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 any five
cities
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 in
Australia
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. The highest trend is in
Sydney
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 and
Melbourne
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, but it is only 44% and 43% of the population.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are 3
cities
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 below 40%,
such
Linking Words
 as
Hobart
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 with 38%, and even
Adelaide
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 and
Brisbane
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 are below 35%.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, such".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, australia, sydney, melbourne, brisbane, adelaide, hobart, people with synonyms.
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