IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
The given bar chart illustrates the outcome data about
people
’s
coffee
 and tea purchasing and drinking habits in five
cities
 in
Australia
such
 as
Sydney
,
Melbourne
,
Brisbane
,
Adelaide
, and
Hobart
 in the
last
 four weeks.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that the majority of
people
 in
Australia
 prefer to directly come to the cafe
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 their
coffee
 and tea in the
last
 four weeks rather than take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
.
To begin
 with, going to a cafe is the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 option for five
cities
 in
Australia
, with the highest percentage being
Melbourne
,
Hobart
, and
Sydney
. In those 3
cities
, more than 60% of
people
 enjoyed their
coffee
 and tea in the cafe in the
last
 4 weeks, followed by
Brisbane
 and
Adelaide
.
In addition
, the second best option for drinking habits for
people
 in
Australia
 is purchasing instant
coffee
.
This
 option is quite popular in
Hobart
,
Brisbane
, and
Adelaide
 (54%, 53%, and 50% respectively), followed by
Melbourne
 and
Sydney
 with 49% and 46%. In comparison, there is
such
 a large gap proportion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
 who purchased fresh
coffee
. No more than half brought their fresh
coffee
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 any five
cities
 in
Australia
. The highest trend is in
Sydney
 and
Melbourne
, but it is only 44% and 43% of the population.
Furthermore
, there are 3
cities
 below 40%,
such
 as
Hobart
 with 38%, and even
Adelaide
 and
Brisbane
 are below 35%.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, such".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, australia, sydney, melbourne, brisbane, adelaide, hobart, people with synonyms.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: