The chart below shows the change in three different areas of crime in Machester city centre from 2003-2012.

The chart below shows the change in three different areas of crime in Machester city centre from 2003-2012.
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The line graph illustrates the
number
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of three different types of
offenses
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offences
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(burglary, car theft, and robbery) that were committed in Machester city centre over nine years from 2003-2013.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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the
number
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of burglaries decreased, but the
number
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of car thefts increased over the years.
Moreover
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, the
number
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of robberies did not change a lot. With regards to burglary, it started at less than 3,500
cases
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in 2003, and it
then
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increased to 3750 in 2004. After that, it dropped to more than 1000
cases
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in 2008. In the end, it stood at less than 1,500
cases
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. In terms of robbery, it started at more than 1,000
cases
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in the first year, and it stood at the same point
at the end
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of the period.
On the other hand
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, the
number
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of car thefts started at around 2500
cases
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in 2003. After that, it fluctuated and reached 2500 after seven years. It
finally
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stood at less than 3,000
cases
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in 2012.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cases with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decrease
  • increase
  • stable
  • significant
  • socio-economic factors
  • policing efforts
  • legislation
  • public perception
  • safety
  • correlation
  • measures
  • national statistics
  • showcase
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