IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart and table
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the average monthly temperature and the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 sunny days per year in
London
Use synonyms
, New York and Sidney. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that Sidney had the highest rates with a slight decline in the middle of the period,
whereas
Linking Words
London
Use synonyms
 and New York had developed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 pace. Regarding Sydney it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started with the highest figures of 26 degrees
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the year and
then
Linking Words
 gradually decreased from the mid-April to July,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
recovered by an upward trend of the final
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of 25. If we look at Sydney and
London
Use synonyms
 we can see that both countries started almost with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar figures from 4 to 8 degrees. Despite developing in a comparable dynamic with a slight difference in its peak of almost 30 digress in the middle of the period, the numbers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 marginally decreased to the lowest point of 5 degrees. As for hours of
sunshine
Add a comma
sunshine,
show examples
 both New York and
London
Use synonyms
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the highest numbers of 2,535 and 2,473 sunny days per year.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
London
Use synonyms
 displays the lowest rates of 1180 sunny days over the period.
Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words london with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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