IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“The Growth of online shopping will one-day load to all shops in towns and cities closing “Do you agree or disagree.

#“the #growth #load #shops #towns #cities #“do
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The online purchasing items
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been increasing day by day. The
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 online
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 has
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
raised
.
However
Linking Words
,
off line
Correct your spelling
offline
show examples
markets
Use synonyms
 would be closed in the future. It's important to shop online because
people
Use synonyms
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to go
online
Change preposition
to online
show examples
markets
Use synonyms
. They believe
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
show examples
 way to choose anything by online shop.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 perspectives in the upcoming paragraphs. Modern technology has provided useful
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
 to shop with anywhere. Through mobile
people
Use synonyms
 are bought their products with one click.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, there are numerous websites
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available to give some discounts by online delivery.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 food is ordered
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online and It's easy for
people
Use synonyms
. Another thing
people
Use synonyms
perfers
Correct your spelling
prefers
prefer
 to online shops they can save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel consumption and time
saving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
interent
Correct your spelling
internet
 bills can be paid by mobile app.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
E-shopping could be a good way to buy goods anywhere in the world. Apart from electronic
retail
Add a comma
retail,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 like
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
offline shopping because they feel if they can buy online
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it's possible to damage the product.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can enjoy leisure time with family and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. Sometimes folks are not aware of electronic devices so they
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to go
Use synonyms
markets
Change preposition
to markets
show examples
 for information. The brick-and-mortar is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing that many
people
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
. In a nutshell, the offline
markets
Use synonyms
 have decreased
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 demand and it's viable
result
Wrong verb form
resulted
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 closed shops in the cities. It's because of E-shopping and
people
Use synonyms
urge
Wrong verb form
are urged
show examples
 to use mobile applications for
this
Linking Words
 purpose. In my opinion, it's the best way to choose online because
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 saves time and money. It gives all the
specification
Fix the agreement mistake
specifications
show examples
 of a product on the website.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: