In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In some groups of

people

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, there is a growing term of

individualism

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which is prioritizing individuals' objectives over collective importance. In my opinion,

this

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is a harmful development because it makes

people

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lack empathy and

also

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increases the socioeconomic gap between

people

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Firstly

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individualism

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can lead

people

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to be empathyless.

This

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is because when an entity starts to neglect the needs of a community, it reduces the sense of consideration for each other.

Furthermore

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this

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development could lead to bigger problems

such

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as civil war.

For example

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, in Indonesia, there are internal conflicts in the Java region

due to

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individuals who take advantage of an

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

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society.

Thus

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this

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emphasis makes

people

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unable to understand others' condition and only focus on their behalf.

Secondly

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individualism

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magnifies the socioeconomic status gaps between human beings.

This

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is because the less fortunate community mostly relies on others to go through daily needs which is not the case for the higher status person.

This

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development can amplify the gap since there is no one who throws a helping hand for lower-status

people

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while

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the higher ones are mostly self-reliant.

For example

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, research conducted by the University of Sydney said that ever since there are individuals with high achievement in that country, the number of rich

people

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in Indonesia is increasing each year side by side with the number of poor folk who are

also

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rising.

This

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is proof that self-reliant terms are widening the socio-demographic gap. In conclusion, I believe that

individualism

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is bringing more harm because it can lead the public to have less empathy and

also

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widen the crack between the rich and the poor.

rizkyrizalzalWed Oct 25 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
innovation
autonomy
align with
excessive
social isolation
community bonds
solely
social classes
entrepreneurship
economic development
empathy
societal cohesion
collective well-being
vulnerable

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In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A lot of people have become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives. Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages? Describe the positive and negative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, prefer to take risks and think that change is a positive thing. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

The internet has transformed how we interact and live in many great ways, but has also created problems that didn’t exist before. What are the more serious problems caused by the internet and what solutions could you suggest?

You are talking a course at a local college. The deadline for your project was last week but you have not finished it write a letter to your lecturer in your letter. Introduce yourself Explain why you have not handed in the project yet. Request more time to do it.