IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

48.Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences, while some people think there are other alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crimes #prisoners #prison #sentences #alternatives
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Some say that longer
jail
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time
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 can lead to a decrease in
crime
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 cases,
while
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 others would argue that there are better ways to reduce law violations.
This
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 essay would argue that
although
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 offering a better education can reduce
crime
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 cases, criminals in
jail
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, have a longer
time
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 to
change
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 their behaviour, so
this
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 is the best way . On the one hand,
people
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 should be taught since little about how everything works.
This
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 is because children do not know what is wrong and what is right,
then
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, when they get older it might be difficult to
change
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 their way of thinking. When
people
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 are in middle school, teachers and families should teach them about the correct and incorrect actions and the consequences, so they will not carry out any
crime
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.
For instance
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, in Spain, all private schools will invite police and
people
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 and perform conferences to talk about the most common crimes and how to avoid getting on the wrong path.
However
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, I think that
this
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 will only stop them from breaking laws when they are at a certain age, but when they get older, they might forget about it, so individuals should be punished so they can remember.
On the other hand
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, with longer
time
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 in
jail
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, individuals will be more aware to not commit any fault, since spending too much
time
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 in prison is not the best choice.
Also
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, with longer prison
time
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, the lawbreakers have more
time
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 to
change
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 their behaviour and character, in
this
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 way, the police and guards can make sure that when the delinquents get out of
jail
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, they have changed completely so they won’t carry out any
crime
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 again.
For example
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, in China,
people
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 that had committed a
crime
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, are caught in
jail
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 until they have changed their habits. In my opinion,
this
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 point of view is preferable because the security of citizens is guaranteed and when the criminals get back to normal life, they won’t continue committing violent actions again. In conclusion,
although
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 education can allow
people
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 to learn about the rights and the laws that individuals should follow, it can’t stop them from performing crimes, and
this
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 is why it is more useful to make larger prison sentences and
change
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 their behaviour and conduct in
jail
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time
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.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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