IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Task 1: The chart below give information about levels if education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.

Task 1: The chart below give information about levels if education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.
#information #levels #education #glasgow #city #scotland
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The data provides information on the
levels
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 of education acquired by different
age
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Use synonyms
group
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groups
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 and gender in Glasgow, Scotland in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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age
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 range attained
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University
Correct article usage
a University
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degree
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,
whereas
Linking Words
older
Correct article usage
the older
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age
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group
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 had no
qualification
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, education
levels
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 by gender are similar in school
certificate
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certificates
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 and
slighty
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slightly
 different in
university
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Use synonyms
degree
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degrees
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 and no
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qualification
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qualifications
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.
Younger
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The younger
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age
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group
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 has a higher number in terms of
university
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Use synonyms
degree
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degrees
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. The highest percentage is 76% from ages 24 to 35, both ages 16 to 24 and 35 to 50 was 5% than
this
Linking Words
 amount.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
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older
age
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group
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 have the highest number of people with no
qualification
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, 75 years of
age
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 or older was doubled
than
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from
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 50 to 75 years of
age
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, school
certicate
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certificate
 varies between
age
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 groups ranging from 3%, 15% and 20%. In terms of
levels
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 by gender, both men and women had 33%
in
Change preposition
of
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 school
certificate
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certificates
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.
Other
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The
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 other hand, more women had no
qualification
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 (38%), alternatively, more men had acquired a
university
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degree
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 (32%). There is only
3
Correct article usage
a 3
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% difference in both
levels
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.
Submitted by ronica.adriano on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words levels, age, group, university, degree, qualification with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • educational levels
  • qualifications
  • higher education
  • school level qualifications
  • no qualifications
  • proportions
  • notable trends
  • outliers
  • age demographics
  • economic conditions
  • social policies
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