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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Task 1: The chart below give information about levels if education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.

Task 1: The chart below give information about levels if education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.
#information #levels #education #glasgow #city #scotland
The data provides information on the
levels
 of education acquired by different
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 and gender in Glasgow, Scotland in 2010.
Overall
,
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
age
 range attained
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
degree
,
whereas
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
age
group
 had no
qualification
.
Moreover
, education
levels
 by gender are similar in school
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
show examples
 and
slighty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 different in
university
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 and no
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
.
Younger
Add an article
The younger
show examples
age
group
 has a higher number in terms of
university
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
. The highest percentage is 76% from ages 24 to 35, both ages 16 to 24 and 35 to 50 was 5% than
this
 amount.
Moreover
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
older
age
group
 have the highest number of people with no
qualification
, 75 years of
age
 or older was doubled
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 50 to 75 years of
age
.
Finally
, school
certicate
Correct your spelling
certificate
 varies between
age
 groups ranging from 3%, 15% and 20%. In terms of
levels
 by gender, both men and women had 33%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 school
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
show examples
.
Other
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 other hand, more women had no
qualification
 (38%), alternatively, more men had acquired a
university
degree
 (32%). There is only
3
Correct article usage
a 3
show examples
% difference in both
levels
.
Submitted by ronica.adriano on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words levels, age, group, university, degree, qualification with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • educational levels
  • qualifications
  • higher education
  • school level qualifications
  • no qualifications
  • proportions
  • notable trends
  • outliers
  • age demographics
  • economic conditions
  • social policies
What to do next:
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