Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance on the screen and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#entertainment #performance #screen

this

digital era, especially after the COVID isolation, people are getting used to staying at home and enjoying their life

independly

Correct your spelling

independently

This

mundane leads to a thoughtful discussion on whether live entertainment performance is still necessary in the

Correct your spelling

21st

century. The accessibility of watching

performances

via digital devices plays a big role in prioritizing an online broadcast

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

a live one. Taking

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games as an example, its audiences

spread

Add a missing verb

are spread

show examples

across the globe and

living

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

in diverse time zones. Without recordings, but only live

events

, audiences in other parts of the world may not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to engage in it.

Furthermore

this

arrangement

also

hinders the disabled

participating

Change preposition

from participating

show examples

in the

performances

due to

mobile difficulties. Other than accessibility, online

performances

also

prevent any undesired accidents from happening. It is not rare to learn about accidents in crowded

events

: In the Summer Splash festival, some participants were

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

hit by glass bottles when the gang was dancing and playing around; Korean residents stepped on each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

during Halloween

last

year when they were pushing to move forward, leading to numerous deaths and injuries; The same incident happened in Hong Kong during 1997 as well. Live

events

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to online ones put participants at risk. In spite of the accessibility and safety concerns that streaming

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

, there are definitely some benefits brought by live

performances

. Live

events

connect us by creating shared experiences and

the

Correct article usage

show examples

special atmosphere together. Listening to musical concerts is a prime example of how it bonds people. During Eason's concert, all participants sang the same golden song together to thank him. Meanwhile, they all laughed when Eason shared some of his funny stories. These connections are precious in the sense that screen watching may not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to bring. All in all, live and online

performances

are both needed as they serve different purposes and with different advantages. Their

existences

Fix the agreement mistake

existence

show examples

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

show examples

more choices for consumers to choose from.

This

flexibility is

also

crucial to ensure a good quality of life.

Therefore

, both should be maintained for

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

our future

well-beings

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

Submitted by ardentpicks on Thu Oct 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
accessibility
variety
engaging
real-time
performing arts
interaction
emotional connection
spontaneity
authenticity
immersive
sensory experience
virtual reality
audience participation
curated
cultural heritage
relevance
social interaction
public opinion

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Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance on the screen and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's character and culture from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the benefits of tourism outweigh the problems it creates in a particular place. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decresing. Do you think this is a positive/negative development?

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?