IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Chevening is looking for individuals who have a clear post-study career plan. Please outline your immediate plans upon returning home and your longer term career goals. You may wish to consider how these relate to what the UK government is doing in your country.

#individuals #post-study #career #plan #outline #plans #home #term #goals #relate #uk #government #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agonized about two questions.
First,
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why
education
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 is unequal to
students
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 all over the
countries
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country
show examples
?
Second,
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why Korean government
don’t
Verb problem
not
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 protect teachers from infringement of teaching rights? To commence with my story, I worked as a primary
school
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teacher
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 in two different
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school
Change to a plural noun
schools
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 in
Korea
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. One
school
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 was full of
students
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 with fully supported by parents. The other
school
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 was full of
students
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 with
orpans
Correct your spelling
orphans
organs
, multicultural
students
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, and
students
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 not getting attention from their parents. The latter
school
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students
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’s academic competence was low and they were not sustainable about their feelings. I thought public
education
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 must ensure
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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overcome their poor personal background.
Therefore
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, My ultimate goal is to contribute
for
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to
show examples
 these two questions. As soon as I
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 back to
Korea
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, I will move my department to ‘Foreign
language experience center
Correct your spelling
Language Experience Center
show examples
’ from my current position ‘
Jinnam
Change preposition
At Jinnam
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 Primary
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school
Capitalize word
School
show examples
’. In there, I will invent
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education
Correct article usage
an education
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 program to teach
students
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 with better understanding field of English and globalization. Even if the number of multicultural
students
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increasing,
their per cent
Correct your spelling
the percentage
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 of
students
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 who drop out of
school
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing, too. In
Korea
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,
still
Add a comma
still,
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 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 discrimination
of
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against
show examples
multiculture
Correct your spelling
multicultural
students
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, and I want to enhance Korean
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’
show examples
multicuture
Correct your spelling
multicultural
multi culture
 capability. My mid-term goal is
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
 in
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
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 of Uganda by being
selectd
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selected
 for the ‘Korean Government-sponsored Volunteer Teachers Program’. South
Korea
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 has inspired STEAM(Science,
Techonology
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technology
,
Enginering
Correct your spelling
Engineering
, Art and Mathematics)
education
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 from England. I was been taught about convergence between subjects and
Add an article
a way
the way
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to bring edu-technology to class when I was
candidated
Correct your spelling
candidate
candidates
 to get
certification
Add an article
a certification
the certification
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of
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as
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first-rate
Correct article usage
a first-rate
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teacher
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. As
Korea
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 borrowed the
education
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 system from
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kindom, I will help Uganda to introduce
this
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 advanced system. My long-term goal is organizing
Field
Correct article usage
the Field
show examples
Teacher
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 Policy TF team. Korean
teacher
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 training was inspired
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
British
Add an article
the British
show examples
 model, which
emphasize
Change the verb form
emphasizes
show examples
 pedagogical skills and ongoing professional development.
Therefore
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, I could get full support from my government
about progressing
Change preposition
to progress
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my
Change preposition
in my
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 profession. There are
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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professional
Correct word choice
and professional
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 learning
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 to train ourselves at
school
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. It was so helpful to me to teach
studuents
Correct your spelling
students
. Even,
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Korea’s
Correct word choice
though Korea’s
show examples
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
professional skills
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 teaching, there is a problem of infringement of teaching authority.
Therefore
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,
Sharing
Wrong verb form
I share
show examples
 my expertise with co-teachers that I learned from the module, find the problem of
Education
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 in
Korea
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 and change the policy. I will create a safe environment to
soley
Correct your spelling
solely
 focus on only
students
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. These are my career
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
 to realize my
education
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 faith.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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