IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In today's time, most individuals opine that the utmost environmental issue is global warming,
while
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 others vocalise by suggesting that the globe is more badly hit by deforestation. In the forthcoming
paragraphs
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paragraphs,
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 I will discuss the effects of pollution
as well as
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rapidly
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the rapidly
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 increasing population on
the
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apply
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nature and will
also
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 explain why I opine that global warming is more devastating than
deforeastation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
. On the one hand, the advent of technology has made the lives of people easier by replacing
every thing
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everything
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 with automation and machinery. There has been a significant rise in the proportion of industries being set up, which ultimately contribute majorly
in
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to
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 polluting the
enviornment
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environment
.
Furthermore
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,
use
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the use
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 of machines as a part of one's daily life generates a
lot
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lot of
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 heat, which eventually
play
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plays
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 a major role in increasing the average temperature of the earth.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a
decade long
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decade-long
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 survey, the
sea-level
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sea level
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 has risen considerably enough to endanger
lives
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the lives
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 of humans by
rise
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a rise
the rise
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 in
number
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a number
the number
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 of floods and
tsunami
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tsunamis
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. It is solely
due to
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melting
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the melting
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 of glaciers which is
occuring
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occurring
due to
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 a rise in the average
temprature
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temperature
.
On the other hand
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, the population around the world is rapidly increasing. To
accomodate
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accommodate
 the populace more and more forests are being cleared for setting up new civilisations for them. Forests are not only the prime source of fossil fuels but
also
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 provide shelter to the vast fauna. Cutting them down
,
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apply
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 exposes these susceptible creatures to the deadly open world resulting in
significant
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a significant
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 reduction in the
numerals
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number
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 of surviving species. These creatures are responsible for maintaining the ecosystem by balancing the food chain.
For example
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,
according to
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 an estimate by environmentalists, the world is going to run out of fossil fuels in the next 100 years. The ecosystem will
also
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 be severely deranged because of the extinction of particular animal species all attributed to deforestation.
To sum up
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, both global warming and deforestation are major environmental concerns but humans are working towards finding an adequate replacement for fossil fuels making the latter issue less important. I opine that
the
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apply
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organisations and
the
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apply
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civilians throughout the globe should give their undivided attention towards reducing global warming. Reducing all types of pollution and judicious use of machinery can help tackle
this
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cocern
Correct your spelling
concern
.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are generally present, but could be more developed and nuanced to effectively introduce and summarize the essay. The main points are supported adequately, but the essay could benefit from further elaboration and development of ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt to some extent and presents some clear ideas, but the response could be more comprehensive and focused. The examples provided are relevant but lack depth and detailed analysis. More attention should be paid to directly addressing the specific points raised in the prompt, and providing a more comprehensive response with detailed examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Greenhouse effect
  • Industrial emissions
  • Sea levels
  • Extreme weather events
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon emissions
  • Renewable energy
  • Paris Climate Accord
  • Carbon cycle
  • Soil erosion
  • Water cycles
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Reforestation
  • Sustainable forest management
  • Indigenous communities
  • Localized impacts
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