IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is necessary to use animals for testing medicines intended for human use, while others argue that it is cruel to do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely argued that experimenting with various medicines and
drugs
Use synonyms
 from different
animals
Use synonyms
' DNAs can be beneficial for human beings,
while
Linking Words
 others assume that it is violence against them.
Although
Linking Words
 both sides of the argument hold significance, I believe that human existence is most important and
therefore
Linking Words
 it is necessary to produce these
drugs
Use synonyms
 from various species.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, proponents believe that testing animal samples is imperative for making various
drugs
Use synonyms
 for living individuals.
This
Linking Words
 is because most of these
animals
Use synonyms
 contain some nutritional values and RNA genes which are needed for human beings to cure chronic illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as respiratory illnesses,
curing
Correct word choice
and curing
show examples
 of skin, and fingernails.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, different researchers around the globe have sacrificed an array of creatures in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of creating vaccines for humans to combat coronavirus.
Thus
Linking Words
, all these experiments are crucial for human survival.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, treating these mute
animals
Use synonyms
 with torture and cruelty can lead to a bad image in the eyes of some people. A key point to notice is that just as humans have the right to live,
animals
Use synonyms
 do have the right to live peacefully as well and should not be treated roughly.
Similarly
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 show sad emotions when they are locked in a cage, waiting eagerly to walk freely when released. There are some organizations,
for example
Linking Words
, that do volunteer work in order to care for
animals
Use synonyms
. Not only do they pick them up from the street, but they
also
Linking Words
 provide them with healthcare in order to live freely.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though experiments performed by scientists are considered unacceptable and morally wrong, I believe that contagious diseases cannot be eradicated fully unless various
drugs
Use synonyms
 are produced by adding animal genes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your arguments are clearly distinguished. For example, start your arguments with phrases like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' more distinctly. This will make your essay more structured and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples such as the COVID-19 research but consider adding more diverse examples to support your points about animal cruelty. This will strengthen your position and show critical thinking.
Task Achievement
Elaborate a bit more on the arguments you present. For instance, when you mention animals showing sad emotions when mistreated, providing a short explanation or study to back this up would be beneficial.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
You have an excellent introduction and conclusion that clearly state the topic and your opinion. This is a strong aspect of your essay.
Logical Structure
Your essay is logically structured, and you have successfully presented both views on the topic.
Supported Main Points
Your use of examples like the COVID-19 pandemic to illustrate the necessity of animal testing for medicines is relevant and strengthens your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: