Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

#people #money #weddings #birthdays #situation

Recently, many people spending

money

thru

Change preposition

show examples

birthdays

as well as

weddings

. I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that celebrating your

born day

Correct your spelling

birthday

show examples

and

weddings

can make you

joy

Replace the word

joyful

show examples

. It

also

creating

Wrong verb form

creates

show examples

memories because

money

can't buy happiness

while

others

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not spending

penny

Replace the word

pennies

show examples

for special occasions like

weedings

Correct your spelling

weddings

show examples

and

birthdays

This

essay can discuss

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apply

show examples

my views

for

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show examples

favoring

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apply

show examples

positive and

negatives impact

Fix the agreement mistake

negative impacts

show examples

and

thus

, will lead to

logical

Add an article

a logical

the logical

show examples

conclusion.

Firstly

, when you are celebrating your

birthdays

as well as

your

weddings

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

you happiness. That kind of joy you experience is much grateful

as well as

thankful for the added life.

Furthermore

, a kind of

memories

Fix the agreement mistake

memory

show examples

that

money

can't buy.

In addition

, the memorable moments of your life

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

be share

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be shared

show examples

in the

future

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with

show examples

your friends and families.

For example

, the events that happen

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show examples

your life

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

recorded

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

you will watch

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

the

future

Secondly

, if you don't have

money

then

no need to spend

penny

Add an article

a penny

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

your

bornday

Correct your spelling

birthday

and

weddings

Change the noun form

wedding

show examples

days. Sometimes

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

individuals

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

money

to spend

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show examples

their

birthdays

and

weddings

In addition

, they are

pratical

Correct your spelling

practical

regarding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the penny.

However

, it will save for the

future

of their family

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

in education. In conclusion, spending

money

Change preposition

show examples

birthday

Fix the agreement mistake

birthdays

show examples

and

weddings

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can give joy as

wll

Correct your spelling

well

as creating memories.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other people

Change the verb form

are

show examples

saving for their

family

Change noun form

family's

show examples

future

Submitted by kimberlygumban on Thu Oct 26 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

227 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that because of modern technology, it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, while others think that handwriting is still an important skill.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?