Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

#people #money #weddings #birthdays #situation

Recently, many people spending

money

thru

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show examples

birthdays

as well as

weddings

. I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that celebrating your

born day

Correct your spelling

birthday

show examples

and

weddings

can make you

joy

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joyful

show examples

. It

also

creating

Wrong verb form

creates

show examples

memories because

money

can't buy happiness

while

others

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are

show examples

not spending

penny

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pennies

show examples

for special occasions like

weedings

Correct your spelling

weddings

show examples

and

birthdays

This

essay can discuss

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apply

show examples

my views

for

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favoring

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apply

show examples

positive and

negatives impact

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negative impacts

show examples

and

thus

, will lead to

logical

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a logical

the logical

show examples

conclusion.

Firstly

, when you are celebrating your

birthdays

as well as

your

weddings

give

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gives

show examples

you happiness. That kind of joy you experience is much grateful

as well as

thankful for the added life.

Furthermore

, a kind of

memories

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memory

show examples

that

money

can't buy.

In addition

, the memorable moments of your life

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apply

show examples

can

be share

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be shared

show examples

in the

future

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with

show examples

your friends and families.

For example

, the events that happen

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your life

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

recorded

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

you will watch

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

the

future

Secondly

, if you don't have

money

then

no need to spend

penny

Add an article

a penny

show examples

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show examples

your

bornday

Correct your spelling

birthday

and

weddings

Change the noun form

wedding

show examples

days. Sometimes

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

individuals

has

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have

show examples

money

to spend

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show examples

their

birthdays

and

weddings

In addition

, they are

pratical

Correct your spelling

practical

regarding

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apply

show examples

the penny.

However

, it will save for the

future

of their family

specially

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especially

show examples

in education. In conclusion, spending

money

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show examples

birthday

Fix the agreement mistake

birthdays

show examples

and

weddings

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can give joy as

wll

Correct your spelling

well

as creating memories.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other people

Change the verb form

are

show examples

saving for their

family

Change noun form

family's

show examples

future

Submitted by kimberlygumban on Thu Oct 26 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

227 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in highschools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspaper will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME SAY THAT IN ALL LEVELS OF EDUCATION TOO MUCH TIME IS SPENT LEARNING FACTS AND NOT ENOUGH ON LEARNING PRACTICAL SKILLS. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?