IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The graph below Shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The graph below Shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
#shops #country #information #features #comparison
The graph
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 shapes were closed and opened during the period, from 2011 to 2018 in a particular country.
Overall
, both indicators closed under the opening rate and
openings
 dramatically reduced.
Openings
kiked
Correct your spelling
kicked
 off from 8500 and took a nose down in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
year
 and reached around 4000 in 2012. Next two years it gradually increased and
touch
Wrong verb form
touched
show examples
 above 6000,
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
year
 it
fel
Correct your spelling
fell
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
again and reached
again
Rephrase
apply
show examples
4000 in 2015. When it comes to closing of shops, it started near 6500
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
initial
Add an article
the initial
an initial
show examples
year
 and fluctuated for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 3 years and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 around
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
starting
Add an article
a starting
the starting
show examples
 point.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it took
nose
Correct article usage
a nose
show examples
 dive and touched
below1000
Correct your spelling
below
, it skyrocketed
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
year
 and reached above 5000 And it
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 for
final
Add an article
the final
a final
show examples
year
.
Openings
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached 3000 in 2018 and it was the lowest of
openings
.
Submitted by shahinka.687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words openings, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • number
  • shops
  • closed
  • opened
  • country
  • 2011
  • 2018
  • trend
  • downward trend
  • significantly
  • higher
  • steady decrease
  • relatively stable
  • reached
  • lowest point
  • slightly increased
  • gradual increase
  • surpassed
What to do next:
Look at other essays: